Lessons

Lesson Info

Everything is Figureoutable with Marie Forleo

everybody wants of its chase. Welcome to another episode of the Chase Jarvis Live show here on Creative Live. You know this show. This is where I sit down with the world's most amazing people and I do everything and I mean everything that I can unlock their brains with the goal of helping you live your dreams in career in hobby and in life. My guest today is an entrepreneur. Oprah called her the thought leader for the next generation. She is also the author of this amazing book that you must stop everything now and go check out is called Everything is figure out Herbal. Her name is Marie for Leo, and she's our guest on the show today. Marie, Welcome. You know, this is my first time in Seattle. What? Yes, so thank you. Welcome to our fine city. It's awesome. It welcomes you. It's very happy that you're here. It's sorry. It's a little bit under the weather today. I love inch. It's cozy. Um, Holy smokes. I was just right before you walked in looking at a video online of your book launch. ...

Yeah, we're gonna talk about we gotta cover a lot of ground in the book. But I also want to contextualize this. So been friends for a little while. You've been on the show before? A couple years ago. Um and I'm looking at my at your video on my phone today. And unlike Holy smokes, this book launch Hammerstein Ballroom, New York. Yeah. Thousands of people, Yes. Give me the story. This is it was so for anyone watching right now, you know anything that you create a business, a piece of art of book, anything. It's a lot of work. And when I was writing this book, I had this creative vision in my heart and in my mind about how I wanted to bring it out into the world. And it was a really difficult process writing the book. And so yes, ever anyone who's like, Oh, I just sit down and channel I'm always really because I bleed for it. Anyhoo, right when I was about getting done with the book, the vision I had was to imagine if a Beyonce concert and a Ted talk had a baby, and then through a block party. That's what I want to do to launch this book and chase what I'm telling you so. Portfolio Penguin. Random House. That's my publisher. When I floated that out in a phone call like it was silence after I said that I think it's the fear of God there. Like who? Why did we give her a deal? What is going on right now is like, don't worry, I'll handle it. But this is what I want to dio. And it was terrifying for me. It was scary. I've never produced a concert before. I've never performed in a concert before. I didn't know how we're gonna make all this come together. I didn't even know if it was gonna work. Do you know, sometimes you have a creative idea? Yeah. Many of those. Yeah, in your head. And you're not sure if in reality and then the actual process of pulling it off and all the rehearsals, which, by the way, I was like, Oh, and I have to do the whole rest of the book tour and the book launch. But again, I created this monster. So I needed to fulfill on this, and I will tell you this. It was one of the most creatively fulfilling things and one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, and it turned out better than I could have anticipated. And I actually think it's creating a whole new trajectory for what I want to do next, which I could have never predicted or anticipated. Like we'll talk about that. You know, some people like, What's your five year plan? And most time like for me, it's a completely irrelevant question because the world changed its changes. So found, of course, and I have also fast that five years just feels like it doesn't mean anything. But from following this impulse, it really it opened up a whole new world for me. I think there's something to be said for that, like super hard work, big risk and then the so fulfilling. Yes, obviously those things dubbed it when I see how many help me understand how you you meshed those things together. Well, what was interesting in a Medicines was the title of the book is Everything is figure out a ball in both the process of writing the book, which was difficult for me, I said, Oh, isn't this great? The title is kicking my ass. I'm having trouble figuring out how to write the book called Everything is Figure Out of All, and I know that to be true with my With my Bones in my DNA. But then that book launch concert was the same thing. It was like, Oh, now you've got to figure out and live what you talk about which I do on a daily basis. But this was taking it to a whole new level and it was awesome because it gave me so much insight in such a deeper level of compassion for all of my readers, because I'm going through the same thing that we're all going through just on our own journey. We're all in this together. That's one of the things that I feel like as more and more people understand and identify their creativity. It really does start to put us in the same boat where I think it creates increased empathy, increased human connection where when we're doing the things that were supposed to be doing in life, because sometimes these things just say most of this times that those things aren't easy, and they're not always fun, the joy and the process. Overall, you wouldn't trade it for anything, right? But when you do something that's hard and where you risk you put yourself out there, you you've sort of connected with this vulnerability that, um, we all have inside of us, and we've been reluctant to share. That's like this alchemy for when the best stuff happened completely. And I think that's the whole route of everything is figure audible. That's the whole idea of the book that each of us have so much innate wisdom that were never taught how to access. And, you know, one of the reasons I do the work that I do is because when I started discovering the world of personal development and business development, I'm like, Why was I not taught this in school? Why didn't we learn? This is Children and then, you know, as a young adult was like, This is the best stuff on Earth and I wanted to shout about it from the rooftops. And so in the book I just talked to Hey, you know, I don't pretend to have all the answers no one in life does. But my belief is the figure audible philosophy and everything, the concepts and the tools that we share. It can help people find or create their own answers. And that's a really exciting prospect to me. You know, there's two reasons, really why I wrote this book. I was struggling to write it in a restaurant in New York City and a friend of mine named Toby's, the CEO of Shopify Iran. Oh, I think it was amazing. Toby Harley. Love those guys. Yes. So he's like, Marie, what are you doing? You know your business is going great. This is a big project. You don't need to do this. Why are you writing this book? And I said, Toby, here's the honest truth. If I were to get hit by a bus tomorrow, this is the one idea that I would want to leave behind that. You know, if again, bus came boot Marie's flattened. I would be off to my next cosmic adventure like, All right, great. I did it way like I gave you my best stuff. But the larger reason, though I think that both individually and collectively folks there in a lot of pain, you know, there's like 300 million people around the world right now that suffer from depression. Suicide rates here in the States are like a 30 year high, and that doesn't even touch upon corruption or the environment or political problems. Financial problems are all the things that are kind of plaguing our society. And so for me, I felt like if I could play some small part in helping to awaken the powers that people already have inside, that maybe many of us can come together and solve some of those bigger issues. Amazing. So the phrase is very sticky. Yeah, also very unique. You know, I know because I've read the book where it came from, But please, sure, I think it's just It's a beautiful, beautiful story. It also tips the hat to your past and your family. So give us a little bit of context. Yes. So people always ask, Where did this little phrase come from? And I got to go back to Jersey, where I'm from, and talk about my mama. Um, so she's such an amazing and interesting character. She's still alive. She grew up in the projects of New York, New Jersey, the daughter of two alcoholic parents. So she learned by necessity, had a stretch a dollar bill around the block like five times, and she made herself a promise that when she was old enough, she would find a way to a better life. And one of my fondest memories as a kid was sitting at our kitchen table in New Jersey reading the Sunday paper and her and I cutting out coupons because she loved to teach me all the ways that we could save money. And she also loved to turn me on to the fact that brands would send you free stuff if you saved up your proofs of purchase. You get like utensils or a recipe book or something like that. And one of her most prized possessions was this little transistor radio that she got from Tropicana orange juice for free, and it was shaped like an orange, and it had a red and white straw sticking out of side. That was the antenna, and it was like her favorite thing. And as a kid, I knew I could always find her somewhere around the yard or somewhere around house by listening for the sound of that radio. My mom's one of those people was always busy. She's always moving in doing something. So one day I come home from school and I hear that radio playing off in the distance and I get closer and I see my mom on the roof of our two story house, like perched very precariously. When you're a kid. It's terrifying. And I'm like, Mom, I'm like, What are you doing up there? Is everything okay? And the party didn't tell you is my mom is if you see her. She looks like June Cleaver. She's got the tenacity of a bulldog, but she curses like a truck driver. So she's like, Ray, I'm fine. You know. The roof had a leak. I called the roof for. He said it was gonna be at least 500 bucks. I said, Screw that. I'm gonna do it myself. I love you. Got the accent. Oh, she's nailed. She's amazing. So another time I come home from school and I hear this little radio playing from the back of the house, so I follow sound and my mom's in the bathroom. I push open the door and there's like dust particles in the air, and there's pipes coming out the wall. It looked like you know, an explosion went off. And my mom, Are you OK? She's like, Oh, I'm fine. I said, What do you doing? She's like, Well, some of the tiles had some cracks. I didn't want the bathroom to get moldy, so I'm re tiling the bathroom. So chase, you got to get my mom Is high school educated. This is the eighties. This is a pre Internet, pre YouTube world. So one day I come home from school and it was in the fall and it was late. Got dark early. I approach my house and everything is dark and their silence, which is very odd for an Italian American home. I knew something was wrong. I had, like, this pit in my stomach because I was afraid of what I might find. So I go in the house still silence of tiptoeing around. I couldn't find my mom, didn't hear the radio. Then I hear some clicks and clacks and I follow that sound into the kitchen, and I see my mom hunched over the kitchen table, which looking an operating room. There was electrical tape and screwdrivers and in about a dozen pieces, a completely dismantled Tropicana orange. I was like, Mom, are you okay? What happened? She's like Graham. Fine. No big, no big deal. I said, you know, did your radio break and she said, Well, the antenna was off and the tuner dial was a little funky, so I'm fixing it. That was the first time I ever thought to ask the question. How do you know how to do so many different things that you've never done before? But nobody showing you how to do it. She put down her screwdriver and she cocked her head to the side with a look like This is no big deal, right? Nothing in life is that complicated. If you roll up your sleeves, you get in there and do it. Everything is figure out a ball and chase. I was like, Everything is figure out about, like, those words just washed over me. And ever since, it's been the single most powerful driving force of my life. So it helped me get out of ah, physically abusive and toxic relationship in high school. Helped me get work study positions that help me actually pay for college from the first of my family to go to college. It helped me get every job from being on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, publishing at Conde Nast, selling glow sticks and nightclubs, bartending and waiting tables like I've done so many different things. I know that you have crazy and starting the business at 23 when I had no clue, I was totally insecure and no idea how to do anything that I could do now, and that was 20 years ago. So I am convinced that this phrase can help people do the tiny things from, like fixing a leaky faucet or flat tire to the hugest things in life, including navigating tough stuff like breaking through an addiction, finding your way through grief, anything that you can really imagine. It can help you with everything, in fact, everything. Yes, somebody actually wrote to me. They're like, You didn't say something's there, figure out a bill. You said everything and that made me get back up on Di Dio. I've been asking this actually on book tour. I'm asking people to raise their hands if they don't believe it. Like, are you skeptical that everything is figure out about? Let's talk about Let's talk it out because it's really important. And a couple people have been raising their hands in like thank you for your honesty because we can't have a meaningful discussion if part of you is like cute phrase girl. But I don't think so. Um and so one of the things that happened when I was starting to write the book, I went to brunch with friends and one of my friends, 10 year old son, was there, and they're like everybody working on I said the title of the book and her 10 year old son was like, No, it's not Oh, okay, Tell me more what's not figure out about and he's like, Well, we human beings can't grow working wings out of our back and fly And I was like, Well, that's right. I was like but a Have you heard of crisper because that might be coming in like 20 years, be we human beings can indeed fly on airplanes, and he was like, Oh, I guess that's right And he said, Well, I can't bring my dog back from the debt And I said, Well, that's true at this moment, But scientists are working on cryogenics and people are cloning their dogs. And he was like, Oh, I guess you're right. So conversations like that and actually conversations with a dear friend of mine, our friend mutual friend Seth Godin Course. So he we had conversations about this, and I created the set of rules to help people really use the phrase for its intended purpose, which is to create positive change in your life in the world around you. So the three rules of the figure edible philosophy or this rule number one You beat me to it. Did I? You're like, Great, So we'll do it. Let's go take us there. Rule number one is all problems or dreams are figure out of all rule number two. If a problem isn't figure out a ball, it's not a problem. It's a fact of life, like death, certain laws of nature, gravity taxes. You may not care enough. This is rule number three. You may not care enough to solve a particular problem or reach a particular dream, and that's OK. Find something you do care about and go back to Rule number one that handles like 99% of the skepticism. Anything from the adult point of view that was not figure out of all the kids was great. I get it wings and all that stuff. It's nice. That's a good 10 year old way. But I'm curious on your tour. Anyone throw you anything that was like, huh? Or what was your What was that sort of the toughest question that you've taken on tour? I haven't had that yet, but it was actually from a dear friend who respects my work. And he's like, I think you're such a good teacher and I'm so proud of you. He's like. But honestly, I was skeptical when I first saw the title because I'm like, You know what? Addictions not figure out of all. What about a life changing or a life ending diagnosis? How is that figure out a ball and we had a conversation. I said, Look, let me tell you a story. You know, when I first shared this idea, it was on Oprah Super Soul sessions, and that was the first time outside of my own platform that I ever talked about this. After that talk went live, we started getting emails and from people that were using this idea in their own lives who I'd never met, I'd never worked with. They've never taken any of my programs. One woman her name is John wrote me a letter, and here's what she said. She's like, Marie, I really loved your Oprah talk. This is something that my mom has been trying to teach me my whole life. In fact, we sat down and watched it together. But then everything changed. My mom was like my best friend was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and suddenly nothing seemed figure audible. She wrote us, But then I took a step back and looked more deeply at the situation. And here's what I saw. I could figure out how to get nursing care for my mom, who lived in a rural area. I could figure out how to find foods that she could actually tolerate, and this is the most important thing to her, she said. I could figure out how to get medical equipment so my beautiful mom could spend her last days and in fact, her last five weeks on this earth exactly where she wanted to be, which was into her own home. So John said, you know it comes down to it. I can say with no hesitation that everything is figure out herbal. And thank you for sharing a phrase that made such a huge difference to two women on the other side. The world there in New Zealand. Wow. Yeah. So I find that that things that empower us, they have largely an emotional component to it. Right? Because that's where we have to summon our energy and our courage and connect with our fear and either manage it or use it or leverage it or or pocket down. Yeah. So did the when you talked the first time you heard the phrase and the lifetime that you put it together. It seems like there's an emotional well of energy that comes around. How does that that I understand how it is for you because of your personal experience? How do you encourage people to tap into that? Well in themselves? In the book, everything you talked a couple times, I just about, like, you know, the answers air in here. Yeah, Well, how do you get there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We definitely walk people through. You know, while figuring things out isn't necessarily a perfect linear process. I've done my best in the book to walk people through a somewhat linear process so that they can start to tap into that innate wisdom. And I think understanding fear is certainly a huge piece of it. Um, I don't think we're ever taught how it's really a useful thing. You know, one of my beliefs is that fear is a GPS for where soul wants to go. And I'm not talking about the kind of fear that keeps us from walking in front of a moving train. Obviously, that got a fear is amazing Biology survival? Exactly. But when it comes to, you know, changing jobs, making a big shift in your relationship, doing something creative that you feel, you know, afraid that perhaps you'll be judged for you might fail or it'll be a waste of your time or energy. I think that most people really misinterpret fear signals. So I talk about it like this. You know, if you think about an infant or you think about a little puppy like an infant when it cries, it may be crying because it pooped and you need to change his diaper or its hungry or if excited, you have to interpret that signal right? But it all sounds like crying. Same thing with a puppy like my dog Kuma. If the ups man come shots of Kuma, Kuma is amazing in your feet. Yeah, he's a little Australian toy Australian shepherd. But like the UPS guy comes. He's barking his head off. If he gets really excited and he wants to play ball, he's barking his head off those air. Two very different things, but he's he doesn't have verbal skills, nor do babies. Same thing with fear. Fear is your friend, but she's doing everything she can to help you feel something. Pay attention exactly like this thing is important. And I think we've never been taught that, perhaps feeling all that fear could be a guidance system for where we're supposed to go next rather than stop danger. Don't do it. Yes, so that's one of the ways that we tap into at least starting to figure that out and something we could talk about. A lot of people say, Well, how do I know the difference between fear and intuition, meaning fear that is normal, that I need to move through because it's gonna help me grow versus an intuitive hit. That's like, No, you should not do this because you're gonna wind up paying for it. It's going to mean a lot of bad things, and it's gonna be very expensive in any very sense of that word if you move forward. And so there's a really simple test that we talk about in the book that anyone listening right now can use to help figure out how to move ahead, especially if they're feeling stock. So here's the notion. Let's say you have a big opportunity. You know, maybe it's a speaking engagement. Maybe it's a new job offer. Maybe it's going out on a date. It doesn't matter. And you don't know whether you're feeling good. Fear that you should move through or an intuitive hunch toe like run and get the F out of town. Here's what you ask yourself. Does the idea of saying yes to this opportunity make me feel expansive or contracted? Now I would invite people when they ask that question. Toe like tappin close the right body scan, and each one of us will have a visceral, subtle physical response. I'm not talking about thoughts. I'm talking about the feeling inside of your body and so expansive in terms of like, a reaction to that question might feel like, Ah, an opening in your chest or like the slightest spark of joy or excitement or enthusiasm, even if it feels scary. There's something that will never in their pulls you forward, right and where ah contracted feeling. It's like a pit in your stomach or a sense of dread or even your head subtly shaking. No, and you didn't even realize you were doing that. And this is where it becomes really important. Case is if the opportunity looks good on paper, if it looks good to your ego, if there's a big price tag, if it's around other people that you feel that you should be interacting with or this would be a big leap forward in your career and you should say yes, because everyone else would. But something inside is like Don't do it, don't do it. So that's another tool that we talk about in the book that I think is really practical and that helps keep people in their own flow. So two things about the book that struck me One is I will to contrast how I feel about your book. I am frustrated by books that lay everything out is like, cool you're born, you have this perfect thing And then you do this perfect thing in this perfect thing in this perfect thing And then you get this amazing result. Yeah, Most books that are sort of business yourself, healthy or whatever. I think they come at it from that blends. And it was like I'm struggling to write this because my stuff, uh, is not does not line up like this. And so a kudos for writing a book that doesn't do that. That comes at it from very, very riel, very riel and pragmatic approach. But there is big enough ideas in this book that, like that's why I went unmentioned everything. That's a big idea. It's a big claim, but you did a masterful job of making it tactical and actionable. One thing that I thought was a great take away is there is a 42% chance to increase 42% opportunity increase your chances of being successful. It's something Yes. If you do one particular thing Yeah, I love the number and I loved detailed You got so share with Yes. So there's some great research that was done by Dr Gail Matthews, who is a professor of psychology at the Dominican University in California, who studied folks from all walks of life all different ages, from late teens all the way through seventies and found this simple fact. If we simply write down our goals, we are 42% more likely to reach them. And I was like 2% for 2%. No, it's 42%. Yeah, 42 people. I make the argument in the book. It's just like if anyone were Tell me, Hey, whatever you're up to, we're gonna increase your chances of success by 42%. I'm in for that all day long, of course, but not, but you would be surprised. Yes, it's such a simple thing, or people like write down a goal there, do it in a digital doc, which there's lots of studies out that show writing by hand, if it's possible for you is gonna I think it gets you to a deeper truth. I think that it slows your brain down enough so that you can connect emotionally with what's really important. And I think there's something mystical, magical and awesome about being in an analog world, especially when we're surrounded by so much technology. Eso writing down your dreams and then not writing them down and putting them and draw where you don't look even though that can work. And I've had that work at times. Focus in the modern day is so important, so having it front and center so you can see it, whether it's in the notebook like I use simple, you know, college ruled notebook. That's how I get everything done. There's no fancy organizational system, but it is. It's a simple tool that can make a profound difference. Let's step away from specifically everything is figure out about for a second, go a little bit too marine human. Yeah, So when you talked about using college ruled notebook paper to get everything done, what are some other things that you feel like? And I'm not just looking for productivity here, that productivity is sort of ah shorthand for Give me a tip or a hack and it's a nice way to connect, but I'm thinking I want a little bit more like What are some pillars in your life? Yes, that you operate around, too. Find success and not just success. Find fulfillment like talk to me a little bit about Like, Marie's operating system is purely rooted and fun like. We have a youI boom with us at almost all times, and there's always music playing practically always like, If there's not, I'm just like I love silence and that's cool. But we bring the party and I will tell you this. Last night we had a tour stop in Chicago. This was one of the best things. This, even though this isn't my practice, this is like the root of my life and how things get done. So we called an uber to bring us home, and this minivan pulls up because we got a crew, right? Minivan pulls up. We get in, unlike kind of tired, and we noticed the uber driver has a full deejay deck on the front of his car. Were like, What is that? That is kind of amazing, like a whole sound deck. Then all of a sudden there's a screen that appears, then all of a sudden a light turns on and it is a The whole minivan turned into a party bus. A karaoke machine appeared. He had a mic, and literally the 15 minutes from the venue to the hotel was one of the best times we've ever had. And it was completely unexpected. And for me, the fun factor like bringing the party wherever you go and being the source of that joy for other people like Haley on my team here were like walking through the airport at 4 a.m. This morning. And we were just doing this, Prince, it was not planned. It was just something. And the we walked into the bookstore to actually see the books. I was like, You're so fun. Is that like it was this whole thing? So to answer your question, I think for me personally, Joy, joy, fun, Zilly nous play. It's like we're gonna be dead in less than 100 years. We're all gonna be powder. Even if there's major medical breakthroughs like something's eternity mean we're still, it's likely we're not gonna be around. And I never want to come to the end of my life and think like that I wasted it and that I wasted an opportunity for connection or laughter or or joy or fun. And I think it's hugely underrated in our society. Pillon number one. But let's talk about pillow number two because things get hard. Yeah, I know they're figure audible, but things get hard and it's very easy for us as humans. When when we often have to play the way I think about this. Play through our biology. Yeah, because our biology is busy looking for Sabretooth Tigers, right? Something. It's like, Oh, I didn't get enough likes on my instagram post or my boss didn't like the presentation that I made. And our biology sees that as a saber toothed tiger. Yeah, so if I know you have other pillars, I want to know another pillar or two or in less pillory talk. How do you manage those moments? Because we don't want to see both sides of the 100%. Like when I'm stressed, I tell people about it like when I'm not feeling good. Um, you know, it depends on what domain and exists in. Like if there's a problem. My relationship Josh and I talk it out and we've actually, I will tell everyone this if you're in a committed relationship that you actually want toe last. I cannot recommend the work of Harville, Hendrix and Helen like Kelly Hunt from getting the love you want. That's a tongue twister. I will eso just if you look up the book getting the love you want. It was like a huge in the nineties. It sold a BA jillion copies, but they're two of the most talented people who will give you a toolkit like I've done. I've done everything when it comes to relationships. I've done all of the therapy I've done all of the workshops I've invested. Josh and I have been together for 16 years, and you know this. When you're in a long term relationship, it's not easy, right? We're 25 26. Yes, So there's ups and downs that natural? Yes. So, for instance, in that domain, if things get hard, not only do I bring them right to Josh, but we use the tools that actually work. So if something is tough for me personally meeting, I'm having a lot of self doubt. I'm not feeling good about myself. I have friends and even my team. Like I don't consider myself the kind of CEO who's just gonna be, like, you know, keeping on a strong face. And then I'm crumbling inside like my team is like my family. So if I'm not feeling good, I let them know what's happening and why. So that they can support me out of it. So does. And was that a natural gift for you? Do you think that was something you cultivated and had to work? I have no fucking poker face. Do you know I can't hide shit? So it's like, I can't pretend to be happy if I'm not, and I can't pretend that everything's OK if it's not so it's a little bit of like this is me. And I think that's probably another gift of my mom. Like you always know where you stand with that person because there's not. I don't I'm not a good Camilion in that way, in terms of, you know, gaining the skills and relationship. Yeah, that took work, and that takes total practices everything completely and learning how to be a good boss and a good leader and a manager shore. But in terms of the emotional connection piece. I don't really I personally don't have another way to operate because I don't think I could survive. Amazing. Let's speak. Let's go back to joy and play. Yes, Dance. Oh, my goodness, You through a dance party for your book, your book launch. And I know from various sources that you were a Nike dancer. Yeah, I was. I was one of the world's first Nike elite dance athletes. So what's the dance heritage You give it to me like this is where this is Marie. I have no formal dance training. So basically, the short story there was after I started my coaching business at 23 doing all of this personal development work and trying to get good on it while I was actually helping clients as well. It made me self reflect, and I always felt that traditional kind of labels like, Oh, I am a photographer. I am a designer. I am a coach. Those always felt really narrow in limiting. And so for me, when I started doing all this work and getting clients, I was like, Oh, I have another dream and it was around dance. But This was when I was about 25. And in the dance world, you are practically over the hill in terms of being a professional dancer, especially if you've never had any training. And the only training I had was doing like moon walks across my mom's linoleum floor. My white socks right? Remember? Yes. Remember those days? So, um, I started taking hip hop classes at my local gym. I got really into them. My teachers were like, You're really good. You should teach. And I was like, Well, what? I don't even know what the hell I'm doing. It was just all passion. So I auditioned to start teaching. I started teaching that last, like teaching at the local gym. This is teaching at a local gym, and then I started going to want to hear really good failure story. So when I started teaching at Crunch in New York, which has great gyms, I also started trying to get more training. So I would go to Broadway Dance Center, which is like one of the best dance studios in the world, and I was super intimidated. But I was like, OK, I want to build my skills and you have to put yourself with the best if that's happening, so I would go to classes, go to classes and then I realized, OK, if I really want to do this, I should have dancer goals, which are to go on auditions and go on tour with, like, major artist. That's what you're supposed to dio. I heard about a Missy Elliott audition, and I love Missy so much. I have so much admiration and respect. Just she's amazing group. So I was intimidated because again, I'm older than everyone. I have very little training, but I was like, I just need to do this So I show up at the audition. There's like a line of super professional, like the coolest answers you could ever imagine snaked around the corner in Hell's Kitchen. Everybody's freestyling on the sidewalk, and I just want to throw up right. I just have not to my stomach. I'm like the biggest nerd. I finally make it up into the room. There's like eight dancers. The choreographer starts teaching like a couple of eight counts and chase. One of my recurring like limited thoughts is that I don't pick up choreography fast like. It's not a skill that I have honed very well. So I'm in this room. All the other dancers pretty much have a photographic memory and, like, picked up this really intricate stuff fast. And before I knew it, they were auditioning and I couldn't even get the 1st 8 count. And in the middle of the audition, I ran out of the room crying, like just feeling like the biggest loser and all the voices in your head. You know, the ones that tell you that you're not good enough, you're probably too old, you're never gonna make it. And those ones, right? And all of us dio All of those voices came roaring to the forefront as I was like just like my eyes were bloodshed. I was just so humiliated. I felt like, What am I doing? Like I have just what everything is wrong. Cut to a couple days later and I said, Let me tap back into what I know to be true. I have so much fun in those gym classes. It's a place where, unlike Broadway Dance Center, which, by the way, Broadway Dance Center is awesome. But I found that my joy factor was highest in an environment where the purpose of the class was pure self expression, right? So we had people like all different walks of life, and they wanted to work out. They wanted to hear cool music and learn moves. But it wasn't about competition. It was about collaboration. And I was like, You know, if that's the place, where have the most fun, I should just stay there. So I kept honing those skills. Then a few years later, 19 years. We're talking people. Years later. Don't that one? Little words led by, yes, Nike hat still dancing. I'm still dancing, still doing my coaching practice, still bartending and waiting tables. And Nike came out with a new program called the Nike Rock Star Workout, and they were searching for Nike athletes. And so there was an audition process, and it was for a gentleman, Jamie King, who's worked with, like Rihanna and Bruno, Mars and everyone. And they were looking for people that had experience and dance who were good dancers but also had experienced leading fitness classes and understood the physical body. And I had my personal training, you know, degrees and all that stuff at that point. And so myself and two colleagues became some of the world's first ever Nike elite athletes, and I traveled around the world teaching dance and then get this house this for full circle moment. Remember, we're talking about the concert. Of course. I actually had dancers who were my backup dancers who just danced for Missy Elliott. No, I am not kidding you. It was the most. It could have been any star. But it was of course, monsieur. Yeah. I mean, we had dancers from like J Lo and Beyonce, like the most talented. Like our crew was amazing. Our crew was, They were. They are the most incredible human beings, and I can't wait to work with them again. But it was so wild. And that's, like, 20 years ago. Wow. Yeah. Life happens. Yeah, for us. Not to us completely. Um, one of my favorite phrases. I refer to it often. I credit you every time I can until someone starts talking before I can. And the night calculated My brain is an awkward now to go back and make sure that every noses Marie's idea that, um, in the morning there's a habit that so many people who are listening or watching right now have. And it's school not throwing anybody under the bus. We're all guilty of it. And that is it looks something like this. Yes, you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is reach for your phone and you start just consuming content. Yes, you first of all, you Maybe you turn off your alarm or there's an innocent opening. Yes, and then you step into something. It's not quite so innocent and that we have to start owning, which is we're just scrolling and consuming content, often content from people who we respect and appreciate, admire or inspired by. And then how does it make us feel? It makes us feel less than limited, closed and sometimes sad? Yep, And Facebook is not Facebook, and Instagram is not industry out there just to make you feel good, their businesses and they are capturing our attention and whether for good or evil or not, there's a certain set of feelings when we're consuming content versus the way I think of us is creating machines. That's what different chess is from all the other species on planet. So your phrase is create before you consume. Yes. Talk me through how you left into that and discovered it and and what you do to put it to use. Yeah, So I think first of all, any of us can use it. And I just want to be real right now because someone asked me this on tour. They're like, Hey, what do you do when you first wake up in the morning? I said, you know what I do right now? Because I'm on book tour, I pick up my fucking phone. You know why? Because I'm juggling so many things and there's so much happening in all these different countries. So I just want everyone to know that there are times in your life that even though we could talk about this phrase and it's awesome, there's a way to use it so that you help yourself and don't be mean to yourself a feel like you're failing if you're not doing it. So I just wanted Teoh qualifer. Yes. So, in terms of create before you consume, I think because of where we are right now with technology and it's so easy to be sucked in whether it's to your phone and your computer, your email inbox. Quite frankly, even if you're tired at night, and then you just put on Netflix and you're like, Boom! Going into it create before he consumed is a really simple way to help yourself stay on track with your own dreams. And I think it's awesome because you don't have to do it constantly. It's not like you have to give up all of social or all of your favorite shows. I love stranger things. There's a lot of things that I like to do. But if you just give yourself this habit of creating before you consume, you can do it without guilt, and you can feel like you're on your path, doing important work like if I didn't practise create before I consume this book would have never gotten done. It was really hard. What that looked like for me practically was actually waking up, usually around 5 a.m. So that I could get even, like an hour of writing in or sometimes 90 minutes if I was lucky before the rest of the stuff with the business had to come and I failed the first few months that I was trying to write this. Oh my goodness, I made so many mistakes. I was trying to write the introduction before I wrote the rest of the book, which now looking back like what? A rookie mistake? How could you do that? But create before you consume is just a great habit, like even if you've worked for someone else all day. When you get home 10. You create your next big project or the thing that you want to figure out before you consumed the nightly news, right or before you consumed the email inbox or even before you consume the ideas or the agendas or the opinions of others, like your family or your friends. So it's very versatile in the way that you can use it. And for me, it's just a great way to check myself before I wrecked myself so that I stay in that creative zone. And that's part of the reason why the concert was so fulfilling. I went weeks without, like, really paying attention to any media because there was no space for, and I was so on fire because that creative channel was flowing out. It's so useful in practical. And I think it's the equivalent. It's sort of the creating equivalent of put your own oxygen mask on before assisting other people. Love it, flown an airplane. You know that phrase? Um, and the of the ideas there is if you're not around and available and and, um, sturdy, you struggle to be there for other people. So let's I think you also have done a nice job in this talk and in the book about sort of the yin and the yang the zig zag that hey, even just that last point that you made about I'm on book tour. So the first thing I do is I pick up my my phone. Yes. Um, what's another thing in your life where you feel like you're putting it out there and struggling with it yourself? Because so many of my friends and I find myself in this position all the time that it's like, Wow, if I just took my own advice. Yeah, how what I would be able to fill in the blank. So is there anything in your world where you're you're working on that? Well, I feel like I'm constantly doing that dance. But now that I'm in this mode right now, I feel like I have great perspective on just the past few years and what I can see so clearly for May. And I think this is so relevant for it's a good reminder, like I've written this down for myself. Any time that I have gone into a space of feeling, any sort of like envy or jealousy or feeling like I might be falling behind right now, I have the perspective to see. I was not creating enough, and there was something in me that was holding back. There was something in me that was wanting either to play it safe or Teoh be liked or to not take a risk. And I think because I'm so close into all this stuff that just happened, where I'm like, Dude, this is all in May, like you're going take it or leave it like I'm working on that stage. I'm talking about this. We do, you know? I mean, some of you all might not like it, and it's fine. This is may. Now I can see very, very clearly how over the past 3 to 5 years any time that I've taken my foot off my own creative gas. That's when I get miserable. That's when I compare. That's when I feel shitty. That's when I just am not my happiest self. And so this is a lesson that I'm re grounding in myself right now, so I don't know if that's kind of perfect. Perfect. I think, um, like just identifying connecting with you around those things where, like it ultimately boils down. And I've asked that question a lot. Teoh this self awareness and you said it like five times like I check in. And I realized that if I'm feeling being being, being being, that means this and that's what I'm sort of. I'm encouraging. People are listening or watching to figure out like you have those things and you know whether or whatever you were, you use trigger or awareness or body scan or whatever. There is some some some way that you can develop a mechanism for keeping in touch with yourself. This book is absolutely fantastic for that. It's like a road map for self awareness and fulfilling your dreams. You've done a masterful, masterful job before we sign out, I want to know you've got a couple going to try and turn this pretty quick. So you got some more tour dates and just give us some coordinates where we can like, because I know you do so much stuff with school and all the other things you got going. So yes. Locate us around your universe. Yes, for right now, for sure. Well, I am very proud. Apple named us one of their top books of September and one of the most recommended audio downloads. So that was huge for me because I love them as a company. We've got more tour dates here in the U. S. If you go toe, everything is figure out about dot com slash tour. I'm also going to the UK and then I'll be going toe Australia. So that's what's coming up immediately on. Then, right after I get back from tour than then, we get ready for B school land, which is our online business school, to help anyone who wants to start or grow a meaningful business. That actually both makes money and makes an impact that comes up in 2020. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. You only have to check it out. Everything is figure out a ball. Such a powerful concept so well written, so clear. And there's nothing better than what it feels like. You're connecting to an old friend, and yet it gives you new energy and vitality and the inspiration to go tackle your biggest dreams. Thanks. So happy to have you on the show. Check it out, everybody. Um thank you. Like you can see how my dog years and there is a real things I'm working on. If you want to know, I'll show you after the show. Thanks very much. Thank you. Appreciate you having the show. Thank you so much. Okay. By everybody. We'll see again. Probably. Hopefully, maybe tomorrow.