Mindfulness for Managers
So let's move in to mindfulness and emotional intelligence. Now, what's really important here, from my perspective, is that this is the area that allows you often to live up to your designed leadership statements. Your values and your leader ship statements, how do you actually day to day live it? Well a big part is, are you mindful enough to pay attention to what's actually happening, and course correct or error correct in the now. 'Cause your whole life happens now, it's never happening later, and it doesn't happen in the past. It happens right now, and then now, and then now. So the only way to actually shift your results is to be doing something different in the now. Now, sometimes you can keep doing what you were doing, but if we wanna course correct or get closer to a goal, it's gotta be here in this moment. Okay? So mindfulness is what drives that, from my perspective. So what I mean by mindfulness, for today, is the ability to pay attention to what is the moment, so what is hap...
pening in the moment. To refocus when getting distracted, and do all that in an intentional way. So the point being is what are you refocusing to? That's what we just started describing, which is your values and your leadership identity. It's like your goal of how you want to be. That's what you wanna stay focused on. You're gonna get distracted. Who in this room has thought about something else, besides the content or me, in the time that you've been sitting there? It should be every single hand. What am I gonna eat? What are we gonna have for lunch? What are we going to do later? What, what, I have to-dos to do, oh my God, I have emails piling up. You're always gonna be distracted, there's an endless amount of distraction. In fact, the whole world is focused on distracting you. Your whole phone that's in your pocket, or in your purse, is there to distract you. So it's all about refocusing. It's not consistent, but the muscle of refocusing, and doing that in an intentional way, that's what's really gonna pop us. That's gonna be being a mindful leader, or a mindful human being. So what is mindfulness not? When can we catch ourselves being something other than that? Multitasking. Research shows that multitasking is not effective. It's not efficient. It's a myth. Okay? We can only really do one thing at a time well. So if you're one of those people that has the identity of a multitasker, I would say really start looking at that and creating a new identity. The research is not on your side. (laughs) I always find myself, when I'm doing really bad, is I'm trying to do two things at once. I'm looking at my phone, trying to watch a video, and trying to eat all at the same time. I have to put things down, simplify. Anxiety. Even knowing that you're feeling anxious, some people just walk around and their high anxiety is their normal, so they're not even aware that their anxious, like, that's what normal life is to them. Anxiety is a form of fear. Fear and anxiety are so similar they can't really be pulled apart. So when you're feeling anxious, or even check in, "Am I afraid of anything right now? "What am I afraid of?" You can check in with yourself, and notice when your feeling more anxiety than others. If your a high anxiety person as your norm, one of your big commitments today could be to not let that be as normal as it is for you. To start working on a lower anxiety lifestyle. Which really is living with less fear. Which to me is pretty inspiring. I don't wanna walk around in fear. Right? Frustration. Now, frustration and anger are pretty similar. Frustration's obviously not very like, kosher, to share in the workplace. But we all get frustrated anyway, some form of that frustration or anger. Some of us stuff it down, some of us blast it out of us, but regardless, we tend to feel more frustration especially when we're depleted. That's when we kinda bark at people, or we write an email, we're like, "Oh, shouldn't have sent that one. "Should've put that in draft for a minute, and slept on it. "Ew." That comes from when we aren't really paying attention or mindful of what's happening in the moment. So, what I want you to do quickly is write for yourself what gets in the way of you being present? What are your most common obstacles? Just bullet points of a few of them. Then, what is the impact of not being present on you and others? So, what are the things that are obstacles, and what is the impact of those being patterns or habits? Just quick bullet points. Could just pick one and one, or two and two. Does someone have one that they can share with us? Of an obstacle or common... Way that they're not present, and then what the impact is. Yes, from you.
I would say for me it's multiple priorities. So there are multiple things that I need to be doing. I cannot focus on one at one point, because I'm thinking about the other thing that needs to be done.
I think the next, the common obstacles?
It's kinda, that is the same one. So what is the impact on you, or on your--
I guess for me, it's like I'm not able to do that one task well, because I'm thinking about the other things. Whereas I should be focused on this one thing, and finish it, and then move on. But it's in my head, and it's hard to get that out.
It's like a little bee that buzzes by, or like a fly that buzzes. (buzzing sounds) And you're like, "Nah, get away, get away." And so what I really call that is inability to focus. Focus is probably the number one thing, that if we supercharge it, everything else gets easier. Because if everything's happening now, then what we're focused on in the now is what we actually are going to be good at. And so if we can't really stay focused, then we're not gonna really get the results, right? So that's a big key one.
Absolutely. Hear another one? Bring me your, yes--
High anxiety. That's what I've been struggling with lately. The fear of numbers not being made, and everything like that. And the impact is that my anxiety is now starting to trickle to my staff. So I hate that, so I have to learn how to balance that. Like not be so, step out the shop for a minute, just to "Woosa" and come back in.
Woosa! (laughs) Our emotional state as leaders is taken on by our teams. There's no way around it. People are watching, people are judging. And people are modeling you. We're monkey see, monkey do. And that works in the good way, like if you wanna get good at something, you can just find someones who's good and just copy them. But it also, that's the way we're built, so when you're doing something negative, it's seen and received by other people. Hugely important. So it's like your anxiety, "Oh the numbers need to be good effort," you're lost in that world, and really, over here you're having this negative impact that you don't want. That might be actually preventing those numbers from getting where they need to be.
[Short Haired Woman] Probably.
Cool. So we start being aware. I want you to lock these in. These are your crosses to bear. These are your challenges to overcome. Each person's are individual. Think about what could serve you as we go forward in working on these.