Getting to Know Yourself
Lesson 6 from: Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at WorkIlise Benun
Getting to Know Yourself
Lesson 6 from: Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at WorkIlise Benun
Lessons
Introduction to Workshop
06:08 2How to Develop the Confidence to Ask For What You Need
10:07 3Defining Confidence
06:31 4When do You Need Confidence
12:57 5Your Confidence Meter
05:19 6Getting to Know Yourself
04:47 7Doing Shy
09:03 8When Fear Gets in the Way
09:29What do You Need at Work
02:28 10Getting to Know Everyone Else
07:13 11Learn to Read People
04:06 12Are You Listening
02:42 13Skills for Networking
06:18 14Tools for Connecting
07:11 15Getting In and Out of Conversations
06:30 16Skills for In Person Meetings
06:14 17Presenting Your Work
06:03 18Playing Other Roles
05:17 19Skills for Virtual Meetings
04:54 20Effective Communication Tools
03:11 21When to Write
06:05 22When to Call or Text
03:22 23When an Introvert Has to be a Salesperson
07:11 24Boast-free Self Promotion
03:24 25Skills & Strategies for Self Employed Introverts: Marketing Yourself
07:02 26Call to Action
04:31Lesson Info
Getting to Know Yourself
Lesson two is getting to know yourself. What do you need at work? My favorite quote here is on the Temple at Delphi, The Temple of Apollo at Delphi, "Know thyself." This isn't about knowing who they say you are. But it's knowing who you really are. That is a very tricky thing, because all our lives people tell us who we are, and they label us. It's hard not to believe it, because they must know, especially when we're really young. Some of these people who tell me that they're shy or introverted, maybe you are. But maybe that's just what they've been telling you all along. What we're looking for here is who is the real you, because that is for you to find out, and that is your choice. But it's probably not based on what someone told you about you, but instead what you've come to learn about yourself, and more importantly who you can become. Because you may look at me and think oh, she's not an introvert. I actually never thought I was an introvert either, but I was very quiet growing up...
, and I was hiding constantly, and I never said anything. Then little by little over the last 30 years I have evolved. I have changed and I have become someone else. I will continue to become someone else. So I really think that's our job in our lives to use this experiment to evolve. Let's talk about what that looks like. Here's what I just told you. I used to be really quiet, and I used to observe people very carefully. How many people are observant? Because introverts tend to watch. I used to hide in a crowd and get really anxious, but I liked crowds because there were a lot of people. So no one would notice me because introverts tend to not want to be the center of attention. As if you could be the center of attention. Again, this dramatic thing that happens in our head. Or I used to freeze when I was asked a question. So under pressure, ask me a question, like even yesterday someone asked, "What book has had the most influence on you?" I couldn't think of it. I just couldn't. We need time. We need to take time and in those moments say, "Let me get back to you." You, I'm talking to my people in the audience, as well as the people out there, as well as you watching on your own, you are quiet, which means that you observe and you have a potential to see clearly. To see more than people who are not observing. You are sensitive. That means you feel things, and you have the potential to feel more deeply, to know what's going on under the surface, because you're also perceptive, and you listen and you have the potential to hear what gets called the subtext. What's going on underneath. Those are all gifts that you could be using to their benefit or for positive. And because of these in your work environment you could be the voice of reason. You could be the voice of here's truth, here's what's really happening, if you use it. But I find most people despite these gifts, don't necessarily use them for positive. You may instead be anxious talking to strangers. Not wanting to get into situations where you're not going to be able to use your perceptive qualities, or your observational qualities. Or as I said, you don't want to be the center of attention as if you actually would be, just because someone is listening to you. Or you get nervous before presentations, or you don't want to present at all. How many people don't want to present at all? How many people wish they were up here instead of me? No? But surprisingly, a lot of introverted people are famous stars, performers, because actually in this environment you can control a lot more than in intimate one-on-one or even small group conversations. So you will find a lot of introverts in this type of what seems like a more extroverted environment, which is kind of interesting.
Class Materials
Bonus Materials with Purchase
Ratings and Reviews
Susan
It was interesting to learn from your program what experiences other people have in certain situations and how similar or different they are to mine. And that’s it’s ok to “own” your inner introvert, and to work with it instead of against it. The good thing is, the more self-aware we become, the more aware and sensitive we can be towards others, thanks to shared knowledge and programs like yours. So thank you Ilise, for an enlightening program. I look forward to going back over it sometime.
Simone
Was a great overall course with lots of tips and ways to frame in your mind what may be happening rather than making assumptions. I would have liked a deeper dive into dealing with conflict, people who just don't think and operate the same way, and getting what you need in situations where usual methods aren't working. Perhaps an additional course on that. Thanks
Simone
Was a great overall course with lots of tips and ways to frame in your mind what may be happening rather than making assumptions. I would have liked a deeper dive into dealing with conflict, people who just don't think and operate the same way, and getting what you need in situations where usual methods aren't working. Perhaps an additional course on that. Thanks
Student Work
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