Learn to Read People
Lesson 11 from: Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at WorkIlise Benun
Learn to Read People
Lesson 11 from: Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at WorkIlise Benun
Lessons
Introduction to Workshop
06:08 2How to Develop the Confidence to Ask For What You Need
10:07 3Defining Confidence
06:31 4When do You Need Confidence
12:57 5Your Confidence Meter
05:19 6Getting to Know Yourself
04:47 7Doing Shy
09:03 8When Fear Gets in the Way
09:29What do You Need at Work
02:28 10Getting to Know Everyone Else
07:13 11Learn to Read People
04:06 12Are You Listening
02:42 13Skills for Networking
06:18 14Tools for Connecting
07:11 15Getting In and Out of Conversations
06:30 16Skills for In Person Meetings
06:14 17Presenting Your Work
06:03 18Playing Other Roles
05:17 19Skills for Virtual Meetings
04:54 20Effective Communication Tools
03:11 21When to Write
06:05 22When to Call or Text
03:22 23When an Introvert Has to be a Salesperson
07:11 24Boast-free Self Promotion
03:24 25Skills & Strategies for Self Employed Introverts: Marketing Yourself
07:02 26Call to Action
04:31Lesson Info
Learn to Read People
We have to learn how to read other people, and I do think that people can be read kind of like a book. If you watch closely, and you can learn, because people are very predictable, and they act out of habit. We all do. So if you can learn what someone else's habits are, and notice, "Oh, they seem to say that same thing over "and over and over, so what does that mean about them?" And then, "What does that mean about how I need to respond "to them in order to get what I need from them?" So you may have to experiment with different behaviors or different requests or different modes of communication in order to get what you need from each and every different person once you've read them like a book. Now, also, reading body language, I think, is important, because this is when someone is very closed, or someone is open, or someone is kind of turning the other way, these are all things that you can pay attention to, and part of noticing something new, as opposed to focusing on what's going o...
n in your head. So you can learn to read and also speak body language, and I have a little tip coming up in the networking section, actually, about how to get out of conversations using body language, so stay tuned for that. And then, I just wanna make a comment about personality tests, because I think that when we talk about getting to know ourselves and getting to know other people, I'm not a big fan of personality tests, because I think they put us in boxes. And so if we decide, "Oh, I'm a this or I'm a that," then that means that you can't do or be these other ways, so they might be good for you to better understand yourself, but please try not to use them to analyze other people, because I don't think that's gonna help a lot. So the number one tool of curiosity is questions, as I've said. So when in doubt, ask a question, because you may interpret the same word very differently from another person who hears the exact same word. So if there's ever a doubt about what a word means or what a task means, please ask a question. And you may say to yourself, "Oh, that's a stupid question," or, "Oh, I should already know the answer to that question," but I think you'll be better off asking the question, potentially sounding stupid, and you can even preface it with, "This may be a stupid question, but," but you can avoid a lot of miscommunication if you take that extra time, and I think it's also part of laziness. I know that when I used to not ask certain questions, it was because, "Uh, it's not gonna matter," as if I know, or, "Uh, it won't be a problem," as if I know, and then it was. So don't think you know, and don't be afraid to look stupid. Instead of stating a fact, you can ask a question. So an example is when you're waiting for content, for example, from someone, and you didn't get it, and you think, they didn't send me the content, you could, instead of saying, "You didn't send the content," you can say, "Did you send the content?" Or, "If you sent the content, I didn't get it," so thinking first and reframing the question so that the person will receive it most openly, knowing who they are based on their past behavior. And then you can also verify with a question. Even if you think you know the answer, I think it can be very disarming, so you could say something like, "Are you aware that you didn't send me your feedback on that project yet?" Because people are very busy, and they've got a lot going on, and they may have written the email message and forgotten to send it. And so they thought they sent it, but you didn't get it, and this happens constantly. So verifying with a question will, I think, save you a lot of time.
Class Materials
Bonus Materials with Purchase
Ratings and Reviews
Susan
It was interesting to learn from your program what experiences other people have in certain situations and how similar or different they are to mine. And that’s it’s ok to “own” your inner introvert, and to work with it instead of against it. The good thing is, the more self-aware we become, the more aware and sensitive we can be towards others, thanks to shared knowledge and programs like yours. So thank you Ilise, for an enlightening program. I look forward to going back over it sometime.
Simone
Was a great overall course with lots of tips and ways to frame in your mind what may be happening rather than making assumptions. I would have liked a deeper dive into dealing with conflict, people who just don't think and operate the same way, and getting what you need in situations where usual methods aren't working. Perhaps an additional course on that. Thanks
Simone
Was a great overall course with lots of tips and ways to frame in your mind what may be happening rather than making assumptions. I would have liked a deeper dive into dealing with conflict, people who just don't think and operate the same way, and getting what you need in situations where usual methods aren't working. Perhaps an additional course on that. Thanks
Student Work
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