Lessons

Lesson Info

Story-Based Prompts

So what I've done for our next a little segment here is dividing up are the questions that come up the frequently asked questions that frequently frequently mentioned challenges that people have we were talking about some of them over lunch and even at the end of scrapbook improv and I've divided them up into say, story based and process based and photo based and we have a special guest who's going to be joining us very soon. Jennifer gallagher and we're going to be talking about how to scrap book the tough stuff, but until we get her on camera for us, I'm going to go ahead and hit some of the story based questions that might be occurring to you and then when jennifer's live, then we can go ahead and move into that segment so I may have to interrupt the flow just to go to that to make the timing work right, but I'll come back to where we left off, so oftentimes when you talk about story based people, one of the first things they ask is, what do you talk about? My life is boring I don't...

know what to say I don't know what story worthy, I don't know what I should be documenting I don't know what would be of interest in people in the future, and previously we talked about if it's important to you or important to the pigs that to the people you are writing about or telling stories about that's a good indication that it might be something that you want to record in your scrapbooks however sometimes that it's not quite enough because you then you're like well what is important to me? So I wanted to talk a little bit about how we can dig in our lives a little bit deeper to find those stories and really provide some questions for you to ask yourself I think that the problem is not that we don't have enough stories I actually think when we look at it through the right lens we suddenly have too many stories to capture because everything in our life is scrapbook worthy is story worthy and just does in our second in our segment with katrina we were talking about photography and we've started seeing our life in a whole new way when she asked us to look around the room and find half a dozen things that we could photograph right now there are half a dozen things right here that we tell stories about the people were meeting the connections were finding between ourselves and other people the feelings were having how this might inspire us to go on to do something different or to try something new or just being here in san francisco those are all things that we might want to capture it could be about the products were using or anything that that strikes a chord in us on what I really invite people to do is become a detective in your own life and I alluded to this yesterday I'm a big lover of crime shows and mystery novels and I love the idea of being a private investigator if I go through my day not as myself but a little bit of objectivity watching myself go through my day what might make somebody else's eyebrows raise what might them what might bring a question to their mind if I came into my house and I didn't know it was my house what kind of things what I know about the people who lived there and this is just a quick photo I went on a road trip a little while good I'll go with my good friend pedro and in the morning she was getting ready and she had all her makeup lined up on the sink with a little towel and I mean it looked like I was at like the makeup studio or something I looked like I was at mac and I took a photo of it because I'm like you're so cute that's not something I personally do but it was so indicative of her and it something it's a little picture of her that I will scrap book and talk about as part of my road trip and how I saw how she approaches her life not everybody does that every morning I probably could take some lessons for her getting ready in the morning. She always looks really good, but it's different from what I d'oh, but if somebody was looking at my life, what would they see that might make their eyebrows raise? Not necessarily in a bad way at all, but just food? I don't do that that's really unique? It could be something really simple, like the fact I was talking yesterday, a path we take this school, so we make sure we pass a certain landmark because my daughter likes to look at it or the fact that we go into dunkin donuts in the morning and the lady behind the counter knows my daughter by name and knows what we're going to order because we're in there a lot. So she has my coffee ready before I even even get up to the counter. Those are the kind of things that are a part of my story and don't just relate to that, but they also relate to the way I interact with the world, because there are a lot of people who go to duncan and she has no idea what their name is. Why are we different? And a lot of that is due to my daughter and her she's friends with everybody. So it's a piece of her story that now has become part of my story that I can tell both of my own behalf and on her behalf a cz well, so really think about your your story, your life, your day with a little bit of an objective eye and see, ok, why do I always have the country and western station playing in the car radio? Is it because it reminds me of my father? Or is it because I grew up in texas and it brings me back to that or whatever it might be? Those are questions that other people might want to know about you, and then you can document those as part of your story, even though it seems totally routine, even though it seems like just run of the mill, it isn't it's really something different. Also I love this picture is not a great picture was taken in low light with my iphone, but it just cracked me up. It's got my daughter kinsey, with her friend kk, and they were both just sitting at the table with their iphones, and they were actually texting each other and tagging each other on instagram of taking pictures of each other, but it just reminded me of the way that we communicate now is so differently than the way we communicated just five or ten years ago, so I was sitting with her mom on the other side of the table, and she and I were having a regular conversation while our teenage girls were sitting there texting each other. And so it was interesting to contrast. I was listening to us and I was listening to them. They were connecting with each other. They were being friends and developing their friendship in a very different manner than her mom and I were on the other side of the table. So listen to yourself and listen to those around you, those you care about. What are the things you talk about? What are the things that you enjoy talking about? What is it? Topics you find yourself coming back to again and again, whether it's the best place to buy fresh produce where the best place to get your hair cut, what what you're talking about is what is important to you and those air worth documenting. And also look at the way you talk about it, too, because that's really interesting that's kind of that thing about being a detective again, how how things have changed, and it makes me feel really old like those take kids you know the music they listen to or that sort of thing but if you notice in your kids are a younger generation then look at it in yourself and say how does that how does that differ from what I do because that's a great indication that things were changing and that things are progressives like the carol cell of progress that disneyland as much as we think it's all staying the same it's different very different in just a matter of a few years um something else that I like to talk about don't get scared by the math here it is calculus I have no idea what any of it means but one thing I always look for is the critical inflection point it's probably the only thing about calculus I know and by definition the critical inflection point in differential calculus is a point of inflection flex where the curve it says this is the technical I think it says that which the curvature con cavity changes sign from plus two minus or minds to plus basically in english what that means it's the point in the curve where it stops going down and starts going up there's one particular point where things change and that's the critical inflection point to go back to yesterday when the previous segment we were talking about when my met my husband I have a photo of a critical inflection point that moment where everything changed it could be something huge like that, like you're meeting somebody who's going to change your life or the birth of a child or the moment you quit your job. But it could be the moment you met the person who's going to become your new besty or it could be the moment you decide you know what, I've had it, I'm going to die my hair red, it could be anything you decide to go on a health kick or use decide to run a marathon or you decide you're moving from here to there those moments there's a moment when that changed and that's the critical inflection point where things could have gone to the right or they could have gone to the left and you made a choice or life happen and things changed. Those are such powerful stories to tell and often times as we talked about, we don't always have photographs of them because we don't know they're occurring. We don't know until retrospect that they happened and it's also difficult to make to take a picture of a decision. So when you decided where you were going to go to college or what kind of job you wanted after college, it's hard to make take a picture of that decision process. But it's not hard to tell that story we just have to think outside that photo centric approach and think about how can I best convey this idea of wind things changed for me and sometimes that could be a before and after picture like you decide you're going to run the marathon so you got a picture the day started training picture at the end or a picture of your shoes and then they're all worn out the picture from when they're new to win their old something like that capturing change in our lives so life is happening changes are happening those air stories to tell and everybody has those because we're not always doing the same thing as much as we think that we are there's a moment where we decide we're going to take a different route to work or we're going to quit her job or we're going to start shopping in a new grocery store um for a lot of people could be when some cool new store opens in their neighborhood like where we live wegmans is a huge huge of james not in her head it's supposed to be like the holy grail of grocery stores and people get really excited when the wegmans opens and that may seem silly but it might be finally there's a target near you are a nike air near you or something like that and those moments of change mark something special in our lives even if it seems as mundane as shopping at a new grocery store there's a reason behind it and it's the way you're shifting your life and it's interesting to document those changes and it also might be the impetus for you to start making some changes. So if you really look at your life and you say you know what, I've been at the same job for twenty years, I wear my hair the same way I'm wearing the same kind of close, maybe it's time to change things up in your life a little bit and your scrapbooks can actually inspire inspire you to do that because you think you know what? My life is really the same and I want to do something different twenty years, same hairstyle, kind of chop it off or whatever it might be, but don't be afraid to make change in your life because it's it's all good it's all good. I also ask you to think about what stories absorb you that other people tell you. So when you hear someone talking about their dog or house decorating or going on hikes or traveling, what kind of stories absorb you in their life and tell the site kind of stories about your own life? So if you love to travel in love to hear other people talk about their travels, do more documenting of your own traveling if you love hearing where people score a great deal on restaurants or you love to hear about great meals or wine, you could do a whole album that was devoted to traveling to different wineries or trying to for types of wine and same thing with it could be anything whatever floats your boat, whatever gets you excited, whatever you enjoy talking about is something that belongs in your scrapbooks. So listen again with a little bit of objectivity to your conversations with people or even the tv shows you watch. So if you love that roadside diner show on the food network or whatever it might be that's a good indication that that's a passion of yours and maybe it belongs in your scrap it even directly as a tv show like I've scrapbook the tv shows I love before or as something that you just I want to explore more of, and you want to start sharing your journeys to roadside diners or something like that felt here in the audience, I feel a lot of nodding, which is really encouraging, but I want to take a break from talking and just ask like if this is stirring up any ideas, I've got some more suggestions here, but like when you think, ok, if I don't, you know I don't have anything really important to talk about, um is this stirring up new ideas I know a lot of you know already that you're stories matter but I would love to hear there's there's some new ideas coming jane well I just reading in the work but here it says make a list of five things you wish you knew about your mother from this life yet yeah just recently I've asked my daughter to tell me the stories of my life that she doesn't know that she was uh that's fantastic that's actually our next slide is talk about what you wish your mom or your grandmother had told you and if you mom or grandmother it's still with you fantastic what a great opportunity to check in with them and ask them some of those questions and even if you don't because I don't but I'm gonna make sure I document those stories for my kids like what it was like teo you know to have kids that are going off to school or empty nest or whatever it might be so um so let's just do a couple more and then jen is actually on the line so we're going to move over to her but any anything else that's popping up for people's far stories tracy because I never thought about it before and of course there's obviously things that I would like to know about my grandmother she's she's dead now so I don't I will never know but the main thing is is that what it felt like to raise a son with the same genetic disorder that my kids have, huh? Because, well, she didn't know that it was a genetic disorder, but a lot of her struggle is obviously my struggle now, so I would I would like to know how she dealt with that and what she felt about it. So those are the kinds of things that I wish that I that I should put down on paper so that, you know, two generations from now, they can deal with the same genetic disorder know how I dealt with it, right? That's fantastic that's. A really powerful one. If nothing else, that's a great question. You can ask yourself so we can come back to this let's, get gin up and and talk with her a little bit about capturing those tougher stories in our lives. Hind sen hey, I'm so excited to see you, it's. Good to see you. Thank you. Welcome to creative life. Oh, it's, just so much fun. I seen your your facebook status update so I know you cut some of our first segment. So thank you again so, so excited to have you here so jen is a very good friend of mine is well as I consider her a luminary in the scrap looking into story she's worked for a number of different companies, including right now, echo park and carter bella and you also have your own block, and I'm gonna ask you before at the end of our conversation, to share that with everybody so they can can follow up with you. But the specific reason I wanted to invite you here today is the topic of scrapbooking, some of those tougher stories and didn't know firsthand about scrapbooking tough stories. She lost her son joey to cancer. What is five years? How long has it been in your seven years now? And she has done an amazing job from, uh, an outsider's perspective, meaning from my perspective, documenting it in a way that is meaningful and connects with me as as a viewer because you are in the scrap booking industry. So those pages were shared with a large audience. Yeah, and I just wanted tio take some time to talk with you because we have a lot of people, particularly in the chat room, asking, what do they do with those tougher stories? So the first question I have for you is what was it? Why did you feel it was important to share some of those stories in your scrapbook pages? Well, one of the main reasons was when my oldest son passed away, the youngest son was quite young he was probably about four and he has zero recollection of his soldier brother and so when we talk about joey our son james it it doesn't stick with him and I wanted to have stories so that at least joey would be remembered through our family memories and I wanted to james toe have a picture of him that's obviously I wanted to get down every single memory when he was sick I realized I wanted to capture every sound every smell every everything and it's not possible that scrapbooking allows me to least capture part of him in our scrapbooking album soon things so it really sounds like was something you were doing for yourself a cz wells your family that it was something meaningful to you because it was allowing you to to memorialize him and also to have his legacy live on for the rest of your family as well absolutely was it tough to choose to share those stories with a wider audience because of your profile in the scrap booking industry? Obviously your pages were out there in publications and galleries and things like that did you have to think ok this one's for us and this one is for public consumption or was there any line that you personally drew about that I haven't really drawn that line yet I don't think I have covered a topic yet that is too sensitive to share when he was sick the community surrounded us supported us really came together for us I felt like they had a right to hear the rest of the story so I thought it was important to share with more than just my family now how do you approach pages for joey both earlier on when when it was occurring when the when you were right in the middle of the whole illness and hit and it was more fresh versus now do you have to get yourself in a certain mindset for that? Because that's something we're hearing is people feel like, well, maybe I'm not ready to talk about this yet or do I have to talk about this now and do you have any thoughts on that? I think it's important to give yourself permission to do it when you can't do it? There was this block of time where I could scrapbook about him when he was still very ill and then when we got the diagnosis that he wasn't going to live, I stopped on that was a life for me and then there was a period of time after he passed where I couldn't face that I could not sit down I could not share the stories itches was too fresh into painful and honestly that model hole right there has yet to be filled and that's ok, when I'm ready, I'll approach it but I approach other subjects in the meantime right? So there's some stories that are easier to tell around showy and and his life and others that that maybe someday you'll get teo and do you feel like you you have to get to those or are you going to be okay if you just never decide not to ever scrapbook those the story I will never scrapbook, I actually keep a journal in addition to scrap booking, and I don't think I will ever be able to share the day we actually lost him. I think it's just for me, just absolutely too raw and it's difficult to relive, let alone put it down and have it out there for anyone to experience and what I appreciate about that that I want to share with everybody said it's ok to say I'm not going to scrap book this, we do not have to scrap book everything. We had a question in a previous segment about a divorce, and I'm worried about writing about some of the bad things because it might hurt my children it's okay not to scrapbook those and it's also ok to scrap, book them and keep them to yourself and not share them, and just because we scrapbook it, it doesn't even have to go online, in fact are their pages that you've created that haven't been shared that air more personal for your family yeah, there's been a few most of the time at a very emotion based and story based. So I'm sharing love through my pages and that's important to me sort of mind sharing that I don't think there's been too many that I have a chair, right? Right. But would you feel ok if you had some that you just said, this is for the family? Yes, absolutely, I am. I try and respect respect the other two children's feelings as well. I want to make sure they're okay with me putting it out there. And sure, that's a good question there because we have had questions about how our pages might impact other people in the family. How do you how do you broached that topic with your other children or with your husband? Do you talk with them about it? Or do you have a good sense beforehand what's going to be okay with them and what might be too sensitive for them through the entire process of him being ill? We kind of gauged their feelings and watch their emotions, and based on that and how they've developed since that weight, I then decide, is this something that can be shared is that something that's, two private, I really try to respect there. Feelings as much as possible and that's fantastic and do you feel like that it's been healing for them? T see the stories you're sharing how has that impacted other people in your family especially with chains where he doesn't remember his joey's sister caitlin there were only tears apart just lost lots of memories but with james thie ability to sit down and have a tangible story it does trigger a few memories for him not not a lot but enough to say I look like him or we share the same interests him and so that's definitely been a good thing yeah, I think some of my favorite pages of yours or when you have either all three children on the paint and photos or the two boys and you talk about the similarities or differences and I think that's such a gift to james t c that familial connection that he might otherwise miss out so I really love you know um here in our audience questions for jenner questions about scrapbooking tough, tough topics I know it's it's it is a sensitive topic, but I think it's an important one for us to talk about because as family historians there are times when we might not feel ready to capture a particular story or at home and on the cat we yes sally dan, you can't say because I'm around the corner that way my question is around so chris and I scrapped for one of the toughest times and were you know, obviously when you're doing something fun and really light hearted, you're all about the decoration, the ornamentation you throwing middle dots and bits and things on when you're trying to do something that is so meaningful like this and I have such respect for you sharing with us because it's really emotional for us and it's amazing few because really helping a lot of people that we've had online old side when you're doing this scrapbook part of it is that you're bringing together these little elements on the page how do you do? You tend to find that you use more things that were his as your three days stuff or do you do you still use the kits and things or do you find that they're all too? I want to cite all too happy you know? I mean but maybe there is an impersonal yeah how did you choose your piece? You're augmentation I guess you decoration you know differently? I don't think that I thought of it before, but I think with him I it's very story based so less ornamentation less embellishments unless it's a family story and then I'll use typical things but it's mostly story based that's great do you have any suggestions for people who might be capturing as they want to document a story? Maybe it could be situation, similar tears, a miscarriage or the death of someone close to them or other challenges in their lives losses. Any any suggestions that you can offer us to help us ease into the process? Because I think a lot of people we were talking with jennifer yesterday she has a very dear friend who she lost, and she was saying it could be overwhelming thinking about scrapbooking this person. So how can they ease into that process and start documenting some of those stories and memories? For me, it had to be really organic. It had to be maybe coming across a photo and it's triggering a memory and giving myself permission to then sit down and scrap book it for someone else. It might be making a list, and when you have the time and you feel right documenting that particular stories, I think it just kind of have to keep it loose and open, especially something so difficult, because sometimes you just you're not there. You just cannot do it. Yes, I think that's so true and again it's all that permission that we were talking about permission to dive into the story with both feet. Permission to start with something that may be is a little more gentle, like when I think about my mom, I wanted to start with some of the things I miss about her maybe just a simple list. And then in the future, I might go in and each of those might turn into its own page and I might talk more deeply about it. But it is it's very intimidating to think about opening up this this this pandora's box and, you know, I feel like I might fall in and never come out on didn't just kind of taking it one story at a time. It sounds like by size pieces. Yeah, yeah. How has it? How has scrapbooking joey's life and sharing some of his stories? How does that help to you as a mom? Who's an experienced just a tremendous loss. How is that? Does that help you heal? Given your perspective, what is that provided to you? For me, I think it's been really important to keep his memory alive. It's difficult when you lose a child to know how to continue to parent because that that need to parent doesn't go away and having the opportunity to to share his stories. And still I talked to him in my last. I actually speak as if he's still here and speak to him. And that allows me to maintain that connection which I need, right, right, thank you. Thank you so much. Are there any comments or you have a question? Will you have a comment question? I think from jenny bain thanks to anything I start scrapbooking for several months after my son was diagnosed with cancer but I still took a lot of fighters pictures so I could go back and document everything when I'm ready. She said that and I was adding to that perhaps the question is would you just is there anything else that she could be doing not she's in a scrapbook she wants to white which is ready a fighter is enough? Or is there other things that with retrospect would they use? You know you would add to that box for laida? Well, I think it's important that their stories is that are significant for and I'm so sorry to hear about your son's diagnosis, but I think it's important the major milestones to document things I wanted to know about his health status in his medical conditions and and things like that so maybe just a few things down. Like I said, I kept a journal as well as a scrapbook and I kind of poured my heart and soul out into there and then when I felt like it, then I would bring it up her into a scrapbook page how did the journal different from the scrap booking in terms of how that felt storytelling life they obviously serve different different needs or purposes for you can you talk a little bit about that so my general tends to be a little more raw maybe it allows me to process the story a little bit more so that when I scrapbook I I'm not concentrating so much on the negative I can talk about what we learned what we gained our family came together that even though it was excruciating and painful that there was there was joy throughout the process surprisingly and I think the journal just allows me to process it the scrapbooking allows me to tell a better overall picture of the story and especially in light of sharing that with james that you're not just telling your story that it really is in service of his memories of his brother as well so that makes a large thank you anything else either here online that people would like teo teo ask jen I have a comment there's another comment online motor mama sharing and I just think this might speak to the journaling and a different type of channeling I guess she said on dh thanks for sharing much amama my daughter has cystic fibrosis and had a lung transplant but then died five months later and during that time we maintained it carrying bridge site, which I've had a lot of friends with karen bridge sides fantastic sight to keep friends and family in the loop I'd like to scrap book a lot of the loving comments from those people, and her daughter had also responded to them on the site, and she says she found this a great comfort, perhaps for because a lot of you have written in on chat and with scenarios, perhaps that's. What do you think about that in another way to add and dimension? Because another way, chad and it's, something that I was blessed to receive to just the outpouring I kept cards that people sent me and little notes, I took pictures, a little gifts. They sent my children, sometimes reaching back and digging into those areas where other people shared their thoughts. It's in their love, and it's continued through the seven years each year on his anniversary passing date that the love and support you can copy and paste ecru print those out. And I think it's important to include the support that you received, as well as your own personal experience with it. It's sony, because it shows how his life touched so many people beyond your family as well, that he has lived on not just in your scrapbooks, but he's, someone that I feel like, I know to a certain extent now, and, uh, and he's impacted so many lives from there, so I think there's a great perspective, definitely definitely any last thoughts. I'm all teary here, jen. I want to just thank you so much. I know that this is not an easy topic and I no way want to downplay how much I appreciate this. Because it's just it's a gift from your heart to mine and I so appreciate. And I want to thank you for that. Well, thank you for sharing your story. Yes, and you're helping so many people to and I know that's one of the reasons you do it because you know it is helping other people. So thank you. Now, if people want to track you down your block site what's the best u r l for you, you can find me a gen gallagher dot com or jen gallagher block spot, dot com and that's jen j e n and gallagher is g a l l a c h e r so jen gallagher dot com or you can if you can't find her, come to me and also in john for the right spot. Ten thank you so much. I love you so much and so on appreciate that that you spent this time with us and shared your heart with us, and I know everybody here does is well, we'll stage for having me thank you job she's a special lady really special lady and if you don't know her, I haven't seen her pages she's amazing in so many ways, and this is one obvious, huge way that she's touched me in my life, but just beyond that she's just amazing mom, amazing friend, amazing scrapbook or so if you haven't found jen gallagher, please check her down because she she's fantastic, so we kind of left that with what do you wish your mom or grandmother had told you? And in fact, now I think a good time for us to take a little breather, because that was pretty emotional for me. Um, and I know just from expressions here in the energy in the room that that that hit us in a certain spot and we're all going experience, loss in our lives, it's impossible to live without experiencing loss, whether it's, a cherished friend or grand parents or whatever. So I would just like to ask you all to take a couple of minutes and think, what is some of the stories that that you wish? If you have experienced laugh what you wish you could have asked that person to tell about or if you haven't had that kind of death in your family, what stories you want to ask that special person so let's just take a couple minutes now and reflect on some of the things that jen's told us give us a chance to kind of take some deep breaths and and ah regain ourselves our center here and if you're at home, please let us know in the in the chat how how this is resonating with you what kind of stories do you want to make sure you leave as a legacy as well their spots in the workbook tio jot down some of these ideas so take a look at that if you have that and we'll check back in in just a couple minutes and see what kind of ideas people have these are great stories to share great story ideas and just so you know, we we were able to put jen's website in the chat room for everybody out there, so go ahead and check that out great thank you. Something else added that if you know you want to scrap book something, you don't have to share that and we talked about that before you don't even have to share it with your family. It could be your private journal like don was talking about maybe you want to work it out in a journal and decide from there what what's going to get on a scrapbook page or maybe as we're going to talk about later, you want to use a different method like art, journaling or something else to share some of your thoughts and feelings so and again, there are people who decide you know what? My scrapbook is my happy place I'm not touching any of this stuff, and that is totally okay to there's no law that says that everything that happens to you has to end up in your scrapbook and some of this is just not where people want to go and please, please, no, you have full permission to edit your life in the way that you want to to make sure the scrapbooks are documenting the things that you want to document just came in. This one is from photos kept alive, and they're saying, I'm seeing my mom this weekend for the first time in a very long time, so looking forward to giving her big hugs and trying to ask her some of these hard questions that I hadn't thought of before oh that's fantastic that if you have, if you have the opportunity, get the answers, invite them to have a conversation with you, and we talked in the previous segment about ways that you can do that so it's not intimidating to them, so it doesn't feel like you're grilling them. It could just be a conversation that the then you laters write down some specific recollection cool recollections, it could be an email exchange if it's somebody who doesn't mind you might record the conversation and then either use that, as is we're talking about adding q r codes to your pages on and actually getting their voices which is which is tremendous is well I don't know if when you were little you sometimes record yourself on the tape recorder and it was like the coolest thing ever now we have all the technology on hand to be able to do that quickly and easily and it was really amazing people's voices just like your handwriting it's a unique part of you did you have some stories that you want to make sure either you capture you get from somebody you love yeah there's a few with my mom that I I am curious about there and they're not syria I mean they're serious but they're not but like how she and my my grandmother my dad's mom got a lot because I can remember it being very formal and I'm wondering if that was my perception is a child or whether it was really that way so I want it I want o figure that out yeah do you think she'll be open to that conversation that something you think of the easy or will that be a tougher what may be tough for her man be tough yeah yeah that's interesting that's great is that something you'll do in person or over the phone I'll see you in person that's good okay let us know how it goes you'll probably see a pay their way angela um questions for your mom or somebody else you love in your life well, like I showed yesterday my my grandmother passing was the reason that I just hard stop and I didn't pick up any you know anything for four years and one of the things she had ten kids wow, I have to and I feel like you know, some days I don't even know I'm still standing at the end of the day so I want to know what that looked like every day yes, yes just on a daily practical but and she wanted more and on that so to not feel like oh my gosh, I'm going to pull my hair out today right? Like I mean you have that many of you want more like what? Seriously? What is there's a look you know that that reminds me the cheaper by the dozen and they made it into the movie win with that steve martin but I love that book when I was little it was basically just a documentation of their daily life and how they did certain things and that's really what we're talking about and what was unique about them was front and center they had twelve kids but your life has that same sort of element to it whether your work at home mom and people are going to wonder how did you do that? Having worked with three boys under the age of you know, dying or whatever ten or whether you take care of an aging, paid a parent or you have you raise chickens or whatever it might be, I live in two places and you will go back and forth from alaska. Those are things that people would be curious about because it's different about you and they're gonna want to know about that. Well, I'm actually very blessed because my grandmother was a scrapbook er and well, yeah, I have some amazing scrapbooks she tagged along on her older sister's honeymoon their homeland of germany to go to the olympics in nineteen thirty six I think in berlin and she has a scrapbook amazing out and she scrapbook everything. Unfortunately, a few years before she passed away she decided to help us clear out her house and she started burning them and so my uncle caught her before she had burned the last of of the few but she probably burned hundreds. However, a few years before that she had put together one of those grandma remembers books and so she would just rode out everything it's probably a hundred pages of everything about early life and how they met and all thing dick and then when my son was born, I gifted my parents and my in laws the same hardbound book and ask them to fill it out so much we'll have that his grandparents, so I have it from my hair that I'm very lucky friends in your blood that tracy clarity talked about my grandmothers yet dealing with my same genetic disorder that mike it's a but she also was born in nineteen twenty, so she was a early teenager and adult during the great depression, so I'd love to know how she dealt with I have no idea where she was, whether or not, you know, they had no money or they were better off, no idea. Well, that went right, that would be awesome in that would be really interesting. That is that's one of the big things I think, especially in recent years, we've gone through this great recession, and I also wonder what did people what was that like? It was just the atmosphere, like during the great depression, so that would be really interesting. Yeah, me, um my mother's mother, we don't know anything about my mother was no orphan oso don't know anything on that side, but my father's side, I asked my grandmother why she immigrated to america, to canada, actually. And she said men, there was more men in canada, I was one and I would like to know more more about, you know, her life. Which I won't be able to find out because there's nothing there but somewhere somehow somebody knows why she immigrated to canada besides the men know how should it go ahead and stuff like that? And I've tried to ask my aunts and stuff like that but it's very very hard I wish that I I knew more about again it's the depression in that area that you know we don't know anything about so I'd like to know how it was again going back to I want to know about that woman in that time you know I know about this woman in this time that woman in that time I would suggest writing down just a specific questions to not just that you might be able to get answered for yourself but to know what kind of things people who come after you might be interested in like how would you get from the united states to canada did you have to have a passport? You know all those kind of things like and then we looked at now when we travel the fact that that's even changed in our life that you did not have to have a passport when you went to canada and now you better have one driver's license won't work anymore or just things are changing around us yeah jennifer I think what I would like to do is ask my aunt that would be my mother's sister with life it was like for her growing up in what family life was like my my mother was mentally ill so I've heard all the family stories but through that filter of her being mentally ill I I think I would like to see it through my aunt's perspective right that's a really interesting point too that people can siblings can live through the same experience and have completely different takes on what was going on that's that's great that's wonderful I actually should make a point cause I think the stories are lost because my mom's not here to tell them but she has two brothers and a sister who are still with us and I should be asking them some of these questions actually three brothers and a sister and getting their take on it it might not be the same as if she had it won't be the famous if she had told me but I'm sure some of it is her story one more question that we get a lot is what if you don't have kids? Will any anybody care because I don't have anybody to leave my scrapbooks too so if I create this thing what's going to happen to it after I die and is why would I waste my time if if there's nobody to take it and my my question is that who we can't predict what's going to happen to our scrapbooks even if we have kids I have three I'm hoping at least one of them shows some interest in what I'm doing but there's no there's no guarantees at the same time like we were talking about the smithsonian there's that woman who was wearing the eighteen hundreds dress of the apron didn't wear it thinking it's going to be in a museum someday and nobody knows whether she had kids or not it's not it doesn't have to be part of the equation for us to make our scrapbooks worthy and in fact I had two people on facebook give me great quotes and jill polynesia says I honestly don't care if the books get passed down I'm only doing it for myself in the here and now and for her the fact that she enjoyed the process right now and is telling her stories that's enough now you might have a niece or nephew were a distant relative who might fall in love with them or somebody might discover them somehow in this think they're amazing but and turn them into something else as we were talking about using them as as ways to understand what life was like here and we're so curious about what happened before like titanic everybody cares about what happened on the titanic even if you had no relatives on the titanic right? So it's the same kind of thing people are naturally curious about what happened before and the stories help so much connect in the future and danielian eddie says having kids doesn't make you any more or less important and that is so true also it's wonderful for those of us who have kids because we do know that there are people we can write our scrapbooks for but it doesn't mean your stories anymore important so I just wanted to suggest that and then here are four very famous artists and writers and I don't know some of them you probably won't recognize someone well, you probably dio um augustin burrows running with scissors doesn't have kids frieda callow no kids maurice sendak who is one of the most loved children's books illustrators of all time no kids on eastern in famous memoirist essayists no children what if maurice index said, well, I can't write mila straight kids books because I don't have any kids could you imagine life without where the wild things are? I mean it's, just your story matters whether or not you have blood relatives to tell that story too when I always come back tio also is laura ingle who in here read little house siri's or watch the tv show almost everybody she did have children but what if she hadn't written over the book? I don't love him because she's my great great grandmother I love them because it was basically a documentation of their everyday life at a personal a particular place in time and so much of the story is, ma washed the clothes by hand. Mary and I gathered twigs we made a baby doll for baby carry out of a corn husk. I mean, how mundane must that have seemed at the time, yet she realized someday people were going to be curious and she has enriched millions of people's lives, and it became a tv show, right? I mean, she changed people's lives just by writing down her story, and it didn't matter if we were related to her or not. Her story became so much bigger than that that's what it goes into the question to that that people ask about what if nobody cares, but if I just have a boring life, nobody is ever going to care about what I'm saying. And melissa pearson said online on facebook, I used to manage a scrap book store, and I'd always hear people say, no one cares about my story. Now, first of all, I want to say, if you care about your story that's enough, the fact that you are alive, the fact that you are living the fact that you're taking up space on this planet, you have a right to your story, you should own your story that was one of my main goals for our time together was to have you fall in love with your own story and realize there's so much to tell there's so much richness there that it's a cz katrina would say the art it's the art of your everyday you're a unique work of art that you can share with people through your scrapbook pages and you know what? Honestly they may not care about this page because it doesn't say anything really, but they might really care about the page about raising ten kids or how I juggle two kids who hopefully, you know they play competitive actually have three to play competitive sports and my daughter is going through the college application process or whatever it might be whatever emotions I can share that's what's going to connect with people whether it's a story about a trip to a winery with a dear friend or you know that a day at the fair where they're sticking their heads then and I can I feel connected to tracy's boys even though I have never met through her stories and I feel like if they came in I would have a pretty good sense of their personalities from online saying, you know, we have lists historical information about women's lives, but that could fundamentally change when women lave behind these legacy lot laura ingalls but once you have that critical mass of people telling their stories right it really does make a difference it sure does and it starts with respecting their own stories and owning our own stories and realizing there's value in them any questions on the story part of things before we move on to process we don't have any questions in the chat room now, but I just want to thank everybody for sharing their stories in the chat room I know it's not easy to share these personal stories with people that you obviously don't know in the chat room so we really do appreciate that it's been great to hear all these different stories from everyone they all have a unique a unique story to tell and we appreciate that they're doing it with us yeah we get to see the impact that jin had on people online people that have kids that a diner have died of relatives or who themselves have problems that they see but seeing the future getting west and it's it's a huge share and it's very emotional and it's well we're really grateful yeah we know it's not easy so thank you yes definitely thank you so much I mean it is an honor to feel like it's a safe place that you can share your stories so I don't just want to thank everybody here and on the web for taking taking a chance and and sharing with us because it it matters it really does