Overcome Guilt and Shame
Lesson 18 from: Make More Money and Discover Your WorthSue Bryce, Tiffany Angeles
Overcome Guilt and Shame
Lesson 18 from: Make More Money and Discover Your WorthSue Bryce, Tiffany Angeles
Lessons
Class Introduction
04:13 2Blocking, Leaking, and Pushing Money Away
03:50 3The Wheel of Misfortune: Avoidance
09:24 4The Wheel of Misfortune: Guilt & Shame
10:40 5The Wheel of Misfortune: Not Receiving
08:57 6The Wheel of Misfortune: Over Giving
05:40 7The Wheel of Misfortune: No Boundaries
06:30 8The Wheel of Misfortune: Overspending
07:21The Wheel of Misfortune: Resentment
03:58 10The Wheel of Misfortune: Tightfisted
16:24 11Students Share Their Place on the Wheel
06:02 12Money Management LOVE
10:02 13How to Price Yourself
29:18 14Be Honest Within Your Business, Yourself
18:24 15Reevaluate Your Money Mindset
11:24 16How Do I Change Your Value?
13:22 17Overcome Avoidance
10:08 18Overcome Guilt and Shame
07:55 19Open Yourself to Receiving
05:23 20Overcome Over Giving
05:34 21Overcome Your Lack of Boundaries
06:52 22Overcome Overspending
06:49 23Overcome Resentment
07:08 24Overcome Tightfistedness
13:37 25Understand the Pain Path
14:20 26Rewrite Your Story
14:03 27Unlock The Secrets to Get What You Really Want
26:22 28What Do You Want?
26:15Lesson Info
Overcome Guilt and Shame
Guilt and shame. Guilt and shame have two different antidotes, because, like we talked about earlier, the guilt is really the aligning of the beliefs. So, if we feel guilty around money, we have that dichotomy, remember? I want to believe this, but I feel like I'm supposed to believe this. So, the antidote there is aligning those beliefs. But, if there is shame, and I feel like I'm a bad person, then the antidote here is recognizing where you act honorably. Because when we're stuck in shame, we're looking at more bad than good. I recognizing all the ways in which I'm unworthy, and I'm replaying those in my head over and over again, but I'm not looking at all the things that I do well. I'm not looking at all the ways that I do help people. I'm not looking at all the ways that I am effective with money, that I do give money in a generous way, that I am a selfless person. And when we get stuck in shame, there's this imbalance between the bad and the good, and in order to raise that back, ...
you gotta bring that back into balance by looking at the ways in which you act honorably. Now, like we talked about, guilt and shame is this huge block, okay? It's like a gate comes down, and this gate says, "You shall not pass." Now what we want, is we want to say, "Well, if I just get a better marketing plan, "if I just get more clients, "if I just get more business education, "then I'm gonna make more money." But you're never gonna more money than you think you deserve. Now, if you're at a place, and you're recognizing, look, I have this block. And it's a big block. This is not a side street closure. This is like the entire freeway is shut down, and you're sitting there for six hours. You're not gonna go around it, okay? It's a core belief, and you're gonna have to work on shifting that. And, anything that you do over here, if you're doing this and not willing to work on this, then all of this is gonna keep adding more guilt. It's just gonna keep adding on more shame. I can't make the client acquisition work, I can't get enough clients, that marketing plan doesn't work, I take all this business training and it just doesn't work for me. I feel guilty, I feel ashamed that I can't make this work. Why can't I make this work? But the gate's down, until you can address the underlying beliefs under your guilt and shame and raise this gate. Once you do that then... (woosh) Success. So, what's the practice? In order to get to the place where we can get out of guilt and shame, we first have to decide what's the new belief. Because a lot of us, with the beliefs that we have up until this point, haven't even really sat down and said, "What do I actually want to believe? "Do I actually want more money? "Do I actually want to believe that rich people are generous? "Do I wanna believe that I could make a lot of money "and have a surplus to give back to foster children, "to environmental needs, to whatever the thing is for you. "Do I wanna believe there that there's enough money "for me and then some, that I can do the thing "that I'm put here to do?" But until we sit down and wrote down what that new belief actually is, then our old beliefs just keep stopping us. So, once we decide what the new belief is, the next thing is we have to look for proof. Because, remember cognitive bias. Our brain is trying to prove to us what we already believe. So, in order to get this new belief to be effective, I have to look for proof that rich people are generous. I have to start opening stories on my Facebook feed that show me that money is good. I listen to the friends that I have and talk about conversations and I don't focus on the conversations where the rich people are greedy, I try and remember and internalize now the stuff where I hear that so-and-so did this with their money. That this money helped this many people. You're gonna have to force your brain to look for proof. And the next one is hearing and hearing. Faith comes by hearing and hearing. How many times have you heard your old belief. How many times have you reinforced your old belief. How many times have you listened to what you don't want anymore. Now you have to correct that by listening to what you do want. So, we can listen to books on tape, we can listen to podcasts, Soulful Business Podcast. You can listen to anything. You can listen to YouTube videos. There is plenty of people talking about how to raise your awareness around money and how to expand yourself to have more money. But until we can hear it, until we can reprogram our brains by listening and listening and listening and listening and listening and listening, we're basically choosing to indoctrinate ourselves with this new belief. The workbook. These are a few questions from the workbook. Who taught you? And more importantly, what did you see, feel, hear, and say about money growing up? Because we all can write down, "Okay, my parents said money doesn't grow on trees." But some of us grew up in houses where they didn't even talk about money at all. But we all grew up in an environment where we can feel what was happening with money. We all had this sense that money caused anxiety in our household, or money was always seemed to be thing that tipped everything. We had this general feeling of my parents, like Sue said, didn't do the thing they wanted to do, because of money. So look at everything, not just what was said, and then write down what exactly do you feel guilty about. Because, sometimes we don't actually feel guilty about making money, and therefore we can make it, but we feel guilty about keeping it. We feel guilty about having more than the neighbors, or more than our family, or more than our parents, or more than our social circle. So where exactly are you feeling guilty around money, because that will help you decide, is that belief still serving you? Is that working for you? Do you have proof that it's working for you? Or do you want a new belief? And then you can go through that practice.
Class Materials
Bonus Materials with Purchase
Ratings and Reviews
Barrie Fisher
OMG!!! You two are amazing!!! I am so grateful for all of your insight, and preparation that you have shared with us, wow!!! Lucky me, to have come across such an informative talk. You brought a human element to what it's like to be an artist. Sharing your ups and downs but always forging forward to be the best that you can be, because that's what your heart longs for, and what you were put on this plant to accomplish and share with the world. I've been a professional photographer for 30 years, and feel so fortunate for the life I've been given. No matter how long you've been doing photography, or been successful, these two wonderful women help to analyze the big picture, which is so insightful. Through their observations, hard work, determination and belief they have forged forward and are sharing their knowledge with us. I'm a spender and this came at the perfect time, as I'm taking time to observe my patterns. Thank you so much for this stellar talk!
Chris Alvino
This was one of the best entrepreneur courses I've ever taken, not just on Creative Live, but pretty much anywhere. This course doesn't deal with the nitty gritty technical details of entrepreneurship. It doesn't teach you how to build a business plan, create a marketing plan, or how to actual run your business for success. There are literally thousands of courses and coaches that teach this. What this course EXCELS at is teaching you the psychology of what it takes to get past your mental and emotional blockages around wealth, entrepreneurship, and life in general. I literally just finished the course and am watching it for a second time because it's so good and is exactly what I need right now to get over my own emotional and psychological roadblocks to wealth. The negative reviews are most likely from people who didn't understand this was going to be about the inner game needed to succeed in business. If you're lacking the emotional or psychological empowerment to succeed, if you keep procrastinating on those most important business endeavors, or if you have no idea what's going on inside but you're not as wealthy as you want to be, this is the course for you!
Alicia w/Beba Photography
This course came at exactly the time that I needed it! : ) I have been learning from a finance coach at my church that money isn't bad--it's the LOVE of money that's bad and the root of all evil. I've been learning over the last few months that money is a tool and can be used for good and this course just re-confirmed all of that. It's made me feel more confident and comfortable about the steps I've been recently taking to increase my pricing and makes me feel more comfortable with earning money, period. It is great for breaking down the false misconceptions you might have about money and is recommended for anyone struggling to price themselves, who doubt their worth or who just need (like I did) that extra step of confirmation that you're moving in the right direction. I loved this course so much I purchased it. Best $59 ever spent! (Seriously?! $59? I feel like I'm stealing at that price! I felt like, "How can I NOT purchase this investment towards my financial future?") Money well spent. The workbook is an added bonus too! :)