The Wheel of Misfortune: No Boundaries
Lesson 7 from: Make More Money and Discover Your WorthSue Bryce, Tiffany Angeles
The Wheel of Misfortune: No Boundaries
Lesson 7 from: Make More Money and Discover Your WorthSue Bryce, Tiffany Angeles
Lesson Info
7. The Wheel of Misfortune: No Boundaries
Lessons
Class Introduction
04:13 2Blocking, Leaking, and Pushing Money Away
03:50 3The Wheel of Misfortune: Avoidance
09:24 4The Wheel of Misfortune: Guilt & Shame
10:40 5The Wheel of Misfortune: Not Receiving
08:57 6The Wheel of Misfortune: Over Giving
05:40 7The Wheel of Misfortune: No Boundaries
06:30 8The Wheel of Misfortune: Overspending
07:21The Wheel of Misfortune: Resentment
03:58 10The Wheel of Misfortune: Tightfisted
16:24 11Students Share Their Place on the Wheel
06:02 12Money Management LOVE
10:02 13How to Price Yourself
29:18 14Be Honest Within Your Business, Yourself
18:24 15Reevaluate Your Money Mindset
11:24 16How Do I Change Your Value?
13:22 17Overcome Avoidance
10:08 18Overcome Guilt and Shame
07:55 19Open Yourself to Receiving
05:23 20Overcome Over Giving
05:34 21Overcome Your Lack of Boundaries
06:52 22Overcome Overspending
06:49 23Overcome Resentment
07:08 24Overcome Tightfistedness
13:37 25Understand the Pain Path
14:20 26Rewrite Your Story
14:03 27Unlock The Secrets to Get What You Really Want
26:22 28What Do You Want?
26:15Lesson Info
The Wheel of Misfortune: No Boundaries
No boundaries, so we just talked about over-giving is to get a feeling. No boundaries is to avoid a feeling. I cannot say no, because if I say no, you're going to react poorly. You're gonna be upset, you're gonna be sad, you're gonna be angry, and I don't wanna feel that. So oftentimes, if we have a problem with no boundaries, we have a high level of empathy. Because I don't wanna say no because I literally will feel your reaction. Now, here's the thing about boundaries. Boundaries is like, you have this yard around you, and around that yard is a fence. And in that fence there is a gate. And when we have a problem with boundaries, we leave that gate open all the time. Come into my yard, pick my flowers, dig up my vegetables, eat my fruit, come in, do whatever you want. I'm gonna leave the gate open for you. Now, what we wish would happen, is we wish that because we left the gate open, the person will come into our gate and be like, "Wow, what beautiful flowers you have. What amazing fr...
uit you have. You actually, I just remembered, are so important to me, and I respect you so much that I'm actually gonna go out and shut the gate for you." That's what we hope will happen. I'm hoping that the other person will prove to me that I'm worthy of them going out and shutting the gate. I'm hoping that they will respect me enough to shut the gate for me. But that doesn't happen, what happens, is they come marching through our gate, and they think, "I'll just pick these flowers here, and just get a little bit closer and I'll eat these vegetables, and I'll just dig up your dirt here a little bit." And then they think, "Okay, well, that's good enough, so I'm gonna set the boundary now right here." To which we're like, (gasp) "What? You were supposed to shut it back there. I cannot believe you took advantage of me leaving my gate open. You were supposed to shut it, 'cause I couldn't shut it. I couldn't bear to tell you no, so I was hoping that you would shut it. And then you came in, and you did something that got me frustrated, because you came way closer than you were supposed to, because I was very generous in leaving my gate open." Now, the thing about leaving the gate open, is frustration with someone is the sign that you didn't set the boundary soon enough. So I have a two-year-old, and she does things that two-year-olds do. So when I leave the gate open, and she comes toddling through, and she starts to pick my flowers, and I'm like, "Oh honey, don't do that." Which is not a boundary, it's a hope. I'm hoping that you won't do that. I'm hoping that you will respect me enough as your mother to just stop. But she's two, so she doesn't. (crowd laughing) And she comes over, and starts messing in my dirt. "Okay, okay, that's enough." Not a boundary, a hope. And then she gets a little bit closer, and gets dirt on my leg, and I'm like, "What are you doing? I'm frustrated with you now. You should have respected me back there. You should have shut the gate for me. Because if I would have shut the gate and told you no, you would have broken down into tears and I can't handle that. I don't wanna feel your reaction, so I can't shut the gate." Now, this trips us up with our money. Because we cannot say no to people when it comes to money. So you work at a job, and people come to your desk, and they want more money for another fundraiser for their fifth kid. And you can't say no because you don't wanna feel guilty, and they're gonna judge you for being stingy, so you give them more money. Your roommate comes to you and says, "I'm short on rent again this month. Can you spot me money?" I can't say no, because they're in a bind, and they're gonna feel bad, and I don't wanna feel that reaction, so I give you money. An adult child comes to us and says, "I just need a little bit more money this month." I cannot let my child feel upset, so I give them money. I want to avoid the feeling, and so I can't say no. The ways we do this, the answer's always yes, even when you want so bad to say no, you say yes. You don't wanna feel like you're letting people down, and so you pretend that your yard doesn't matter. People take me for granted. People take advantage of the fact that I left my gate open. People are taking me, people are taking advantage of me, but I left the gate open. I didn't say no, I'm frustrated with you because you keep doing this to me, but I didn't say no.
Class Materials
Bonus Materials with Purchase
Ratings and Reviews
Barrie Fisher
OMG!!! You two are amazing!!! I am so grateful for all of your insight, and preparation that you have shared with us, wow!!! Lucky me, to have come across such an informative talk. You brought a human element to what it's like to be an artist. Sharing your ups and downs but always forging forward to be the best that you can be, because that's what your heart longs for, and what you were put on this plant to accomplish and share with the world. I've been a professional photographer for 30 years, and feel so fortunate for the life I've been given. No matter how long you've been doing photography, or been successful, these two wonderful women help to analyze the big picture, which is so insightful. Through their observations, hard work, determination and belief they have forged forward and are sharing their knowledge with us. I'm a spender and this came at the perfect time, as I'm taking time to observe my patterns. Thank you so much for this stellar talk!
Chris Alvino
This was one of the best entrepreneur courses I've ever taken, not just on Creative Live, but pretty much anywhere. This course doesn't deal with the nitty gritty technical details of entrepreneurship. It doesn't teach you how to build a business plan, create a marketing plan, or how to actual run your business for success. There are literally thousands of courses and coaches that teach this. What this course EXCELS at is teaching you the psychology of what it takes to get past your mental and emotional blockages around wealth, entrepreneurship, and life in general. I literally just finished the course and am watching it for a second time because it's so good and is exactly what I need right now to get over my own emotional and psychological roadblocks to wealth. The negative reviews are most likely from people who didn't understand this was going to be about the inner game needed to succeed in business. If you're lacking the emotional or psychological empowerment to succeed, if you keep procrastinating on those most important business endeavors, or if you have no idea what's going on inside but you're not as wealthy as you want to be, this is the course for you!
Alicia w/Beba Photography
This course came at exactly the time that I needed it! : ) I have been learning from a finance coach at my church that money isn't bad--it's the LOVE of money that's bad and the root of all evil. I've been learning over the last few months that money is a tool and can be used for good and this course just re-confirmed all of that. It's made me feel more confident and comfortable about the steps I've been recently taking to increase my pricing and makes me feel more comfortable with earning money, period. It is great for breaking down the false misconceptions you might have about money and is recommended for anyone struggling to price themselves, who doubt their worth or who just need (like I did) that extra step of confirmation that you're moving in the right direction. I loved this course so much I purchased it. Best $59 ever spent! (Seriously?! $59? I feel like I'm stealing at that price! I felt like, "How can I NOT purchase this investment towards my financial future?") Money well spent. The workbook is an added bonus too! :)