Build Lasting Confidence
So, the last principle we're going to talk about today is build lasting confidence. Build lasting confidence. And this is all about being present. It's about being present. Do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. Guys, when I was, oh, gosh, about 3, 4 years ago, I had my 30-year class reunion. High School class reunion. Had my 30-year high school class reunion. Class of 1985. That's me up there in the corner. And, oh, my gosh, I got to admit. I had a whole lot of anxiety about going back for my class reunion. It was, as you can see, a very small class, and outside of a few connections on Facebook, we hadn't really stayed connected, so there was some angst. That was just some anxiety and so I'm getting dressed. I'm in the mirror and I'm getting dressed and I'm thinking back to that 18-year-old. I'm thinking, "Wow. Literally, every dream that I ever had as an 18-year-old, I had accomplished." And I was just like, "Wow," and I'm thinking back, and I'm thinking to al...
l the times that life had kicked me in the face and I got back up, and I'm just like, "Wow." I'm feeling good. I'm hearing a little Jay-Z in my head, "Allow me to re-introduce myself," right? Let me tell you all, there's a freedom you get dancing naked in the mirror, right? So I'm thinking and I'm excited, "Okay, okay," and I started thinking about that 18-year-old and how much I knew what I wanted. I knew what I was doing. I'm thinking about now what I'm doing, 40-something years old, and realizing...that 18-year-old and this 40-something year old, there was a disconnect here. I had really gotten disconnected from who I was and I started really unpacking that. This woman here was more lost than that kid in the picture before. How could that be? And I started unpacking this more and more and I started unpacking. How could this woman be so disconnected from who she was? And I realized as I unpacked it, I realized that I wasn't confident. Somewhere on this journey, I had lost my confidence. Drive, now, drive, that's what got this woman here. Somewhere confidence had lost its place and I realized that drive is what had pushed me to succeed, but confidence, that's confidence, confidence is who you're supposed to be when you get there, and that wasn't my truth. And I kept unpacking this and unpacking this, started asking other people, "Are you driven or are you confident?" And they would go, "Okay, wow. Wow. To be honest, I've got drive but I don't think I'm that confident." And I realized that it wasn't just me. I realized that drive, drive is that protective strength. Drive and drive and you go and you go. Confidence is our vulnerable strength and I realized that there can be a major gap between drive and confidence. And I started asking this question and talking to other people, and I realized that some of the most accomplished people I knew had no confidence. I realized that we could get up every day and we could accomplish some amazing things, but we don't have confidence. Drive is that thing that keeps you going, that you could do. Confidence is when you're sitting still by yourself when there's no one there. And I would continue to unpack this and I realized that if I was genuinely going to experience exponential living that I had to not only commit to drive and confidence getting back together, but they had to stay together. I could no longer live with drive and confidence not aligned. They're not the same thing, but they work hand in hand. But we put so much time into the drive, which is what we do, that we lose the fact that the confidence is who we are. Again, drive is what gets us there. Confidence is who we are when we arrive. And so I realized that, again, in order for me to bridge the gap, we've got to make a decision. It all starts there. In order to bridge this gap, we've got to be ready, and ready means we've got to make a decision. We have to be committed. Again, we've got to give ourselves permission and we've got to be willing. You got to be ready to make a decision, committed to giving yourself permission, and you've got to be willing again, to give up to go up. And I keep repeating that because it's so critical. Have you all noticed throughout this whole journey how critical these things are? So to build lasting confidence, we have to focus on what we are, not what we're not. Not what we're not. What we are. We can only be the best me. You can only be the best you. Stop the comparing, right, Denise? Stop the, "Well, they did this." And here is the thing, we've got to stop comparing ourself to ourself. Remember when you used to do this, Sheri? Well, that was your old norm. Accept your new norm. I love what Oscar Wilde says. "Be yourself, everyone is already taken." And then lastly, we have to have the courage to BE. We have to have the courage to BE. So I want you thinking about this. What are you going to do to build lasting confidence? What are you going to do to build lasting confidence?