Lessons

Lesson Info

In Studio Coaching with Jinny

So tell us what your guidelines are first one is a confident be confident and what was the limiting behavior probably just not believing in myself in my talents, which was the other part of it I narrowed it down so it wasn't if you're being wrong about exactly if you be confident, how do you act? Um assertive and in charge and right out of what I have done so I know what I'm doing next that's good. So you actually tapping into the center of the thing that I wanted to be sure when I heard your guideline was too be sure that you weren't going to be on the outside ring being your ego and your personality I'm so confident, you know, not that no but no, but not to the you'd act like that, but I'm just saying that it's really coming from the inside out? Yes, we'll have tto peal of those players away so I can yes, but I think that I think it's a great guideline, I wouldn't change anything about it, I really do, but I think the important thing is and, uh, if the important thing is to actually ...

remember that you are you are you have every reason kelly to be confident and use your guideline to handle that part of it as well as you know, okay, here I go it's every time I let my little gray and green ring come into focus have to tap back into oh I already and that way just and it's not a lie I don't have to I'm not fooling people right okay that's good that's all right the next one well look at that you needn't tell me how badly a spell a spell that and what we're just going to forget about this let's just go back teo slides over here and from you today is this okay? What's your next one uh sickles and we'll set goals focus on goals what was my next one focus on goals yes focus on goals that's good actually I have to say your goals what I like about your guidelines that I'm going to say this to everybody who's on the internet into you folks down here is well that your guidelines really do need to be short you do not need to tell the whole story more than four words and you've got too much information in there you know the story you know what keep confident means or focus on goals means focus on goals because then I'll be you know, more successful or because when I don't I'm you know doing my email all day or whatever it is story coached me I had a lot more words to begin with so that's good no this they're excellent so focus on goals what what what was the blessed that you learned well aiken stray easily and I can stray off of what I'm doing uh or what I don't want to dio fill it with things that I do want to dio and lose track of what I think I am interested in doing so yeah the lesson is I I just really need to stay in the lines and stay focused I think they're excellent I really do I think that's excellent I you know it's uh maybe we'll go on to another part of your plan we have what and your third one build connections uh I can stay at that computer monitor a very long time doing things that are very focused and just in my own environment and what's the cost of that uh not having a network not having uh you know, going out and being with people of same interests or like minded or not having that support going back and forth with other people so and how do you feel when you're sitting in your office with your computer? I'm sure whatever and you're working and you're doing all the this stuff and you're out there connecting what's the what of the two experiences like for you one is just very quiet in my place and and safe save the other one very unnerving and very uncomfortable and or can be but then once you've done it once you're out there well once I've utilized being confident and I think I've gone into the room and and made those connections it's it's enriching it's you connect very well do you know you know that well thank you no you do you have this you have an amazing ability about you too to connect the thing I've learned about operating from the center and it's the story I'll tell you real quickly is that when I'm my attention is not on me but is on somebody else I'm automatically from the centre issa's if I disappear do you know what I mean? Have you been in something you know where you're helping somebody else? Your attention is totally on them you're completely coming from the center of that so one of the things I get myself you know, out of the chair out there helping other people or connecting or doing something is to not go there to mark it or make sales or make friends or all the rest of it go there to see what I could offer that's changing my my attitude I can't I used to teach right so I can go up and I could stand in front of a room and talk and do that but when I go in to a place to sell myself for what I do it's a completely don't go there to tell yourself don't go there so yourself you don't need to sell yourself go there to see what you contribute and an attribute or if there's anything you can do to contribute I mean that's what got me ever to go you know make sales or do anything I was going up in the elevator on the way to a meeting and I go okay I'm here too find out if I could do anything to help these people I will be able to hurry won't you instead of I'm going to close this deal right? I don't know that works for me and it sounds like it would have worked for you yes not on abc not or what I'm not always be closing no that's I'm much better at helping so versus exactly that's what I sent you on a deal so you don't have to be nervous and just go find out haven't been exploration justice conversation tell me about your new paradigm gonna just spring that on you because this is the heart of the matter your new paradigm both saying to you into the people out there on the internet you're new paradigm is the heart of the matter that is the thing that will get you operating from the center out and it's also the thing that's gonna have you making your plan the more time you spend there everything else will fall into place so will you tell me that you're limiting paradigm? Which one did you have one that was the strongest uh you really believed in we go back to paradigms that's quite a list um well it's the I'm not enough I'm not I'm not enough in general I have quite a list of I'm not enough so um that's you know that's hitting the nail on the head always say there's two bait when you boil down all the limiting paradigms in the world there's two flavors there's the flavor called I'm not good enough some flavor of I'm not good enough take your limiting paradigm scene I'm not good enough or I'm a victim and yours is I'm not good enough so welcome to the human race yes okay so what's your new one I'm successful and gaining ideal clients he says do you buy that that's very it's still weird to say yes of course it is spin it so course it is yeah if you if you came from the place of service and wanting to get yourself out there to find new clients so that you could offer them your services with that would you get in touch with the reality of that? Because I know that's what you're here for is a human being I really since that that's what you're here for so instead of taking the focus off, I'm successful in gaining ideal clients turn into I'm successful in helping my ideal clients what uh general uh realize the beauty of within their life through photographs what? You know, whatever it is that you actually put the attention on that and I think that's really going to make a difference to you not I'm going to get clients right just you know no no, I'm not no I'm not just look, I've got all kinds of proof I'm not going to go, you know, it's and it's not standing you in a direction, I think it's comfortable for you, right? Some of the some people might work for I don't think it will for you, so say it again. Um I'm successful in uh, no, I forgot it already successful in helping clients capture the beauty of their life captured their beauty yeah, about that? Sure. No, I didn't want to talk to you. Just keep on believing that what your folks photographer years about. Yeah, I know when somebody takes a great studio shot of me I feel it looks good and I look good. I feel terrific about myself, right? And that's. So I'm successful vessel in uh, helping clients see their beauty discover their beauty see there now how do you feel about that that's feeling better? Do you have that experience that when you take pictures of people that's what happened? Yes to get very happy with the end result so so can you see the truth in it definitely that's especially when they say that's the best picture I've ever seen of me how many is that in my next book on the on the cover see what you've done for them farm worth and just you know that that beauty that is the way they look how they went to present themselves as well yes so there you've taken them back to their center okay how about that that's more layered and bigger than I thought it it better yeah I think so. All right. Well wonderful. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for being here being a student oh, my pleasure enjoyed it very helpful. Okay, thank you very much. I think it takes a lot of courage to do that and we're going to be talking with derek schneider. I hope I'm saying that correctly and uh derek has uh, agreed to talk with all of us from his home from his office. He'll tell us in a moment where he is about his new paradigm. Derek are you there? I am here. I'm really glad to be on thank you for having me. Thank you very much. Where are you? I'm in federally washington which is just outside of seattle. Are you a seattle seahawks fan? I am. I live in denver way should meet really it's okay, we've getting we've got over it, so tell us what your new paradigm is uh my new paradigm is I am fearless in the face of a challenge something you were laughing no do you feel good about it? No, I feel I feel good about it. You know, when I wrote it down I was surprised that you know that writing it down really helps kind of make it more believable for me because you know, in the past years, you know, when I've come up on job interviews or something that I wasn't sure if I should go for them or not because I wasn't sure if I was qualified enough I never took that chance I never found out if I was or not you didn't go for the interview. Yeah, I would always tell myself that there's going to be somebody that's more qualified than I am and why waste my time going down there to do it when I'm not going to get it you were really in the clouds where you yeah wass I was I was fresh out of college and uh you know, I just felt that you know, I need I need more experience before I can go, you know, shoot for the stars kind of thing, right? You weren't is we were talking with kelly about you weren't good enough, right? Yeah uh plenty of points points of that ice cream what if that helps you feel better the flavor of the flavor you're talking about now tell me uh what was your limiting paradigm? Can you can you recall our can you remember and you were willing to tell us what's the limiting paradigm that you shifted for you're intending to shift to this new one limiting paradigm was actually the one that I just said you know I'm not good enough to get that job I'm not good enough to get that job right it is that is that really seemed true for you uh how it was yes yeah it's all right to say that I mean we and do you have some proof that you're not good enough to get the kind of job you want? Uh not really just I would tell myself that like and you know what? I let myself believe it exactly we make up stuff you know, that's what that whole gray ring is about is about the things that we make up about ourselves and then we prove them now the good news is I'm sure dori told you this but just in case you missed it you know with your new paradigm you can make you make that up with the same amount of power that you made up the other one and then you can start gathering proof about that now when I hear you say your new paradigm I'm fearless in the face of challenges is that it yes. Okay, um I think that's great, I'd like to take it a little bit further if you're willing to play with me for a minute, okay? That's a great one and it might work very well for you. So if we go along this path for a while and you say actually, I'm happy with the first one that's fine, but if you say I am fearless in the face of a challenge, it doesn't have the outcome in there, it doesn't have the vision of what it is you want, so I might say to you, I'm fearless in the face of a challenge you might say to me, I'm fearless in the face of a challenge, and I go so you know what I mean? Yeah. So what is the gist described the new reality that you want to create? What does it look like when the point of view or the concept that you aren't good enough to get the kind of job you want isn't true anymore? I ideally I guess it would be to go in there with the with the feeling that, you know, I'm going to get this, I'm goingto I'm going to get this client tto do a video with me, we're going to get I'm going to get this job, huh? I am one of the other ones that I had written down for the new positive paradigms was that, uh, I'm better than the person next to me is for this job's I would stick with the first one because, you know, they didn't forget about them. This is about your new paradigm is really about you so describe for me imagine that you were I had a look at your some of your goals, you have some very ambitious goals as well. So what you want is a lot of clients for your business, correct? Yes, eso described to me what it would feel like to have a cz many clients as you want and that how they would feel, uh, it would feel amazing part of what his kind of can spurred me into this uh, guess renaissance years you could say for myself is that I've got friends who are doing the same kind of thing, and as I was going through school, I was kind of watching what they were doing if they've traveled to thailand, they've gone to hawaii to shoot weddings and stuff and just seeing the freedom that they have and they're going out there having fun doing something that lay love and they're getting to see all these cool places and everything it it made me, it made me hungry for that I want that and to be able to get you know, to go out there and get clients that I want and to be able to go places that I want to do shoots that I want that's that's the dream okay and how would you put that into a paradigm? I can see it now I'll bet if you tell the truth to me and the rest of us uras good as they are yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a matter of fact are you okay? So can you quickly give us the paradigm that would state that reality not how good you are but the client's being attracted to you or you know, I guess it would be that, uh my creativity and videography skills can get me whatever who whichever clients I want ok, leave off I say make your paradigm not calls oh, my creativity and my this and my that forget that part just tell me are I'm getting all the clients I water I'm getting exactly the kind of clients I want and there are tons of them or something along that line do you understand what I mean? Yeah, I see what you're saying is is that what you want just I don't want to put words in your mouth that I want you to tell me what you want in the paradigm, okay what's the paradigm that tells us all what you want or better yet, how it's going to be from now on because I said so derek says this is the way it's going to be a derek is saying that he is going to get the clients that he wants as many as I possibly want, right as many as many as you possibly can have yes, I'm okay now tell us your new paradigm just take a deep breath it's okay? I know you're really on the spot here and I really appreciate it if you're very brave this is part of my self improvement thing you're doing great you're absolutely doing great. I've looked at your whole plan it's superb take a deep breath and tell us your new paradigm my new paradigm is that I can I will have all the clients that I want and I am good enough to get those clients. All right, take it, take the will out you know we'll never gets here. Okay, so it's I am getting the clients that I want and I am good enough for them the forget the good enough. Of course, if you're getting all the clients you want you're good enough you just get to corto under it. I want wonderful. How does that feel? Do you wantto jazz it up orbiter is that just feel great that feels good to me, okay now I'm going up the challenge a little bit. There could be thousands of people. In fact, I know there are listening to you, derek. So again. Thank you. I want you to tell us your new paradigm as if it's the same as the sky is blue. Just take a minute and then tell us your parents just the way you would say the sky's blue today, isn't it a wonderful day? You know, just a statement of fact that you feel good about. So tell us your new paradigm that way, as if you're telling us this is the way it is, I get all the clients that I want. No kidding. Did you get it? Can you hear that where he was coming from? I get all the clients I want. I'm getting all the clients I want. Congratulations. Thank you, guys. That's. Just awesome. You've been brilliant. Thank you for playing along and being willing. Tio, go a little bit deeper with your new paradigm. I appreciate it so much. Thank you. You're welcome. Soda way. Bye bye, derek. But keep in touch. Absolutely.