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Breaking Your Barriers

So what are the biggest barriers to finding? Everyone here is like, OK, we meet, I get it. I should do a dream job thing. I should find a dream job. Okay, Sounds great. Let's just close it up for the day. Why don't we? Why don't we find a dream job? Who knows? Besides the fact that I prematurely click that slide? What are what are some of the reasons we don't find a dream job? Too many options. Go on. What does that mean? Because you can. You can see that there so many opportunities in the world. And then you test yourself and I'll say I test myself and I'm good at this thing. And they did this thing get this thing. And then it's kind of like the paradox of paralysis. You have so many choices. You have so many choices. So if you choose one, then you give up another one, right? Okay. So in other words, we don't want to close doors. Okay. What else? For me? When I was looking for a job, I would not apply for several because it would have requirements that I wouldn't be like the perfect f...

it. So I would be like, Well, I obviously don't qualify, so I wouldn't even try. Have you ever created a job description? Have you were hired someone create? Yeah, And did you ever put requirements where if someone didn't have one of them, you would have been like, whatever? Now that I'm on the other side of it, I get that. But before I went like, I don't have the degree or I don't have that. I don't have women in particular do this. They self select themselves out of applying for things because they don't fit every criteria. And you know what? Guys do well in general, men and women are both bad at finding dream jobs, but women in particular will self select themselves out. You know what men say? Be like whatever. I'm just gonna apply literally. That's That's the These are the words they use. And, um, and that right there is one way that you'll find a gender difference in how women's self sabotage themselves from even getting in the door. It's so interesting. We'll talk more about gender later. Sarah. People use their degrees to disqualify themselves like they'll say, Oh, I can't do X y and Z m in English. Major. How The English love it. You know what my major is? You think I have a personal finance major? I don't even know how to do math. I avoided math so much in college. It was ridiculous. My math requirement fulfillment was fulfilled through me finding the easiest math class on campus. And I am not kidding you. It was called statistics in the associate. In the archaeological age, whatever that means. I don't even know what that means. We learned how to age bones or something, and I check the box and I'm out. Thank God. Now I have other people doing my math for me. Okay? What else do we say to sort of make a reason for not finding a dream job? Yeah, people I don't know the right people. I don't have the network that might work for him because he knows all these people. But I'm just I'm just like a normal guy. Don't have access to all these people. Another way to say that. It's not what you know. It's who you know. And you know what the correct response to that is, By the way, yeah, that's true. So you better know some interesting people. But what most people do is like Oh, no, I know. It's just who you know, OK, I don't know anybody. So I'm just gonna go home and eat some cereal. No. You're gonna learn how to meet the right people. You can argue with the way the world works. You can say the world should be this or that, but the world is the way it is. So let's deal with that. Okay. Megan, I'm gonna say, I think maybe tied in with all of these is just fear. I know that I've suffered from that so fear of, um you know why I'm not that good at, um, like, I'm kind of socially awkward or, you know, I don't Really I don't really think that I could succeed in doing that. So what words you use. You don't say I'm not going to succeed. I know you don't talk like that. No one even uses the words succeed. What words to use. Um, I just I just really think I'm not. I'm not qualified. What words? Anybody. I'm not good enough. What else? Fraud. I'm a fraud. They're gonna discover I'm a fraud. Okay? Women, particularly way. Meet the criteria. Yeah, but and I know I'm not the only one female friends of mine. Oh, my God. I'm so not gonna apply for that. Once I get in the door, they're totally gonna find out that I'm not that person. Really good. What else? Any other Anybody else have phrases about how we sort of self select ourselves out? Yeah. Such a saturated market. What chance do I have to take? Whatever. Yeah, that's so good. I should just take whatever. Exactly. Okay. Anybody else? Let's go to the web. Bringing brainiac says we reject ourselves so that we dont let others reject me, which is so interesting, because the way that I think about it and my students think about it now is you know what? Let them do the rejecting. That's their job. Let them do their job. Don't reject yourself. Remember all those scholarships I applied for? There were a lot that I was not qualified for. Did I get rejected for most? Yeah, I got it. Reject from a lot of them, but I also got a few. I also had friends of mine that said, I'm not gonna apply for sculptures. My dad's a doctor. So I happen to know this because I started a scholarship to give back and I was giving away free money. No, like ifs, ands or just free. I was gonna write you a check. And you know how many applicants I got the first time I did it? Yeah. Think about that. Free money. It's incredible. We self select ourselves out. I know people that are. A lot of my friends are hiring managers now, and they tell me the most ridiculous stories about how they'll put up. I mean, for example, for young people, especially, they'll be like, I was willing to pay $65,000 for this job. This person came in. I asked him how much their salary requirements were, which, by the way, you should never answer. I'll teach you how to do that. And they were like, I don't know. I mean, I really just want to learn. I'd be willing to take, like anything, really. And my friend was like, sweet, I just saved $25,000 which, by the way, what happens to that $25,000 Anybody no bonuses for the top tier, correct bonuses for the top tier people to retain them. And you know what happens to everybody else? The mediocre performers, they're told. Phrases like this Times are really tough this year were not able to find it in the budget. I'm only able to give you a 3% cost of living increase. Anybody ever hear those phrases? Yeah, well, chances are, you're not a top performer and chances are you haven't negotiated. In other words, you deserve it. Let that sink in for a sec. If you're not getting paid. What, what you should be. You deserve it. I asked my readers. I gave him a couple of websites, which I'll cover later to find out how much they were underpaid by. Do you know the numbers that they threw around there were astonishing? I'm underpaid by $10,000. $12,000. $22,000. I have hundreds of comments like this. Imagine if they were just paid the median range for their position. They'll be life changing money for people. $15,000. It's life changing money. What we got on the web? We've got a bunch. We've got a K photo. Who says, I always say, I'm not at that level. Yeah, that's what I was going for, Megan. So I just need to kind of, like, get a couple more years experience. Then I'll do it right? Okay, That's how we talk. Let's get into our own heads and talk the way we talk, What else for us we have designed, Diva says. I imagine that my dream job would require me to dress and speak to certain standards, which I do not feel that I meet president. What does that mean? Really? I'm curious. What I think that probably means I don't look like the person that should have that, Uh, anybody ever feel that way? That's anyone to meet that girl. Okay, Meaning? Like what? Um, I know because I experienced that when I walked into my one of my first like, I guess, corporate job. And everybody was in suits and ties and the girls were, like, super sleek and professional on like, high end clothes. And I'm like, I dress a target like I haven't I don't even look like I fit in here. That's super interesting. Designed, even clarified. Yeah, expensive clothes super interesting, I guess I didn't understand that because I used to work in Silicon Valley where you're lucky of people wearing shoes. So point. Take it. All right, What else? We have civil drafter who says I don't have the formal education and I don't have the life experience background that my competition does. Yeah, that's such a good one. I don't have the the education. Do you know of the people I hired who I pay a lot of money to Do you know what happened When I asked them for their resume, I never asked him for the rest because I don't care. Now, is this true for every company? No, but I didn't care about their resume. I don't know what school they went to. Couldn't care less. That's is that ironic? Because I went to a good school. So don't you think that everyone who went to good school looks for other? No, that's not true. What did I want when I hired someone? What did I want? Did I care about their educational background? No. What did I care about having done how they communicated? I wanted them to solve my problems. So if I hired an assistant. Does it matter what school she went to? No. What matters? We're taking your risk away. Take my risk away. She had to respond quickly. She had to get through the gauntlet of tests I gave her. She had to prove that she could be adept on the phone. Be polite under stress. These are things that matter to me. In other words, she solved my problems. Could you solve someone's problems if you went to a community college? Of course you could. Now does it help to go to a really good school? Of course it does. I'm not gonna lie or beat around the bush about that gets you into certain doors. But for most jobs, if you can actually solve their problems, in fact, if you can anticipate their problem better than even they can, the educational problem goes out the door. That's for I would say, 95 to 97% of companies. There are a few that you will need a top tier school to get into, like a top level management consulting firm or investment bank. But aside from that, basically the sky's the limit. OK, what about for like jobs where it says, like in that in the adder and their requirements where it says like college degree require something like that. So you're saying Screw, Just apply it, ignore it. What's the worst they're gonna do? Nothing. They're gonna just not respond to you. Big deal. What happens is we get we don't want that rejection And here's what we do. It's so funny in the dating world. Is this thing called one itis where guys will, like, still pick one girl? They'll obsess over her like I need her and they'll just be obsessed. And if she doesn't respond, they start getting all despondent and they get really crazy, right? They concoct Oh my God, she hasn't responded. My text. She must hate me, blah, blah, blah. Every guy watching this is like, Yeah, I know I've been there. Well, well, what happens is guys forget like there's a lot of fish in the sea, right? And what we forget when we're applying for a dream job is there's a lot of jobs out there, and as a top performer, which we're gonna learn how to do and be. If they don't respond to me, it's their loss. So when someone literally has happened me all the time and dream job testing, they're, like, remade. I applied to this company. They haven't replied yet, and I'm like, Okay, um, how long ago? They're like, Ah, week and 1/2. I said, Okay. How many other companies have you applied to? No, no, no. I'm just waiting for that one. And then I'm gonna decide to apply. I'm like we're waiting for that one. You need to be applying to 10 a week, and I show them how to do that. 10 of the right ones, Not 50 of the wrong ones. So guess what happens when you apply to 10. If one doesn't happen, what happens? You're just like, whatever. I got nine others that are talking. I got emails. I got interviews, I got coffee shop meetings. So if you're obsessing over one once you open up the funnel, you're not gonna be so worried about that one anymore. All right, so other barriers to finding a dream job. This is a big one that no one really covered. This won't work for me. I call this the special snowflakes in here as if I'm a special snowflake you ever meet That might work for you Or that might work for these guys here in studio. But they're blank. And let's insert the blanks right now. They are what? They went to an elite college. They what? They have a certain major. What else? More experience. They have more experience. What else? They went to Creativelive. Yeah, exactly. They were there in studio. There was some magic there. What else? They're prettier. Very good. What else? There's a whole bunch. Let's go. Shut him up. More charismatic. Uh huh. I live in Canada, and it won't work here. That frees Jeffrey's right? There is so telling. I blank blank blank. And it won't work Here. I get this. I get this hundreds of times a week. Literally. People say will remain. That won't work in the UK. We don't do networking like that. Really? Maybe you're right. Maybe not. Who knows? Certainly not you. Unless you've tried it. And by the way, I have plenty of UK students who have succeeded. I have students all over the world just like the people who are watching today. What else do we have? We've got Jennifer, verily verily, INTs. They're better looking more charismatic. Samuel John. They're older. Wiser than me. Yeah, they came or experience smarter, skinnier, younger, Better connected, thinner, braver, younger. Better dress. Super interesting. I bet you that all those comments about looks are from women. Super interesting. How much looks factor into women, whereas guys air, never thinking that you would never see a guy saying he got it cause he's skinnier than I Never, never It's super interesting again, a point to make that these discussions are gendered Whether you like to admit it or not, finding a dream job is gendered. The people who cried on the phone with me were women, the people who also learn how to negotiate very, very well where many men and women both can negotiate. Fact, some of the best negotiators I know are women, which is super interesting if they learn how to manage the strengths and weaknesses that men and women have. All right, so this won't work for me. Look, this is gonna be something that you're gonna feel all day long. Fact. Yesterday you might have felt to that won't work for me. I don't charge that much. I don't have a wedding photography business. I'm just starting out. I don't have the right camera. But as we learned, you'll get those things. But you start up. We all start off at a certain level, and then we work our way up. So if you find yourself saying that won't work for me, put a pin in it. Remember that? And ask yourself, why am I feeling I'm not sure I'm qualified for this. Notice the dot, dot dot I like to add the dot, dot, dot Because people actually write this in emails to me. And I just imagine someone sitting by like a like it's raining outside and they're sitting by a window with, like, a cup of hot cocoa. Just like crying. Oh, I'm not sure I'm qualified for this. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Dot is always when people are just like we being slowly with one tear. I love that. I love the visual. Ok, so these are our barriers. Okay, um, there are ways to overcome all of these, and these are just three of the many barriers we have. So what have we done so far? We've agreed on what our we've agreed that a dream job? We could probably get one. Maybe not today. But over time we've kind of thought about what our dream job is all going to get more specific.