Lessons

Lesson Info

Unsupportive Family & Friends

So I would talk about dealing with gun supporter friends and family when you told everyone was going away how did they react? Yes, my parents were not too thrilled and they have spent while months trying to convince me to not go okay first thing I heard was oh you're going alone are you afraid yes. My mom made me watch taken before I left exactly what I wanted to do myself they basically saying can you just go this time in the world? I mean that's what I wanted my parents they always any news clippings and tell me about how scary the world is I haven't had to watch taking that a family movie night and we watch take it uh yeah so what friends like were they like what do you do in this weird thing for yes, people made it all about them like they all wanted to talk about how much they would miss us instead of anything else and I really didn't have a good answer for them, you know? Yeah, that happens. Um so you know, not everyone is going to be supportive your trip and they do make it abou...

t them and sometimes they project sort of their fears on um themselves and then that makes it easy to get discarded it's like yeah, we can say, well, I'm going anyway but when you just get all these people coming at you uh, telling you about why you shouldn't do this, you begin to so have the self doubt um, you know, and a lot of times, you know where you're going to hear it's unsafe, he shouldn't go he's just running away from life. Shouldn't you get the job? It's? Unfair to travel alone, you're going to get taken, you get enough and weird hostiles, you could get drugs, especially on safe travel on if you're a woman, don't you want to settle down and find somebody that you get a job in the house in the morgue age, or then they make it about something? Well, I wish I could go it be nice not to have that kind of responsibility, like you're just sort of like to sort of passive aggressive comments about well, aren't you lucky you're right is making decision repair. Ian's, who says they've been warned about the huge human trafficking issue in europe? Well, I've only just heard about that now, thank you. I wouldn't worry about it. Well, thank you. Okay, well, again, that goes back to the taking thing, right? Well, I mean, you got slightly off topic, but, you know, I mean way think about slavery, right? We eradicate that the huge slave trade around the world fell and that you know not to create any more fear or worry but like, you know, everyone inside like there's all these fears all these things go wrong but you know, like tell people everywhere isn't safe I get mugged in new york I've been you know, get drugs somewhere I could fly from coast to coast I could be in a car something could happen you know, as we saw on the map like you're never fully safe if you really want to be safe, you know, never leave your house but maybe you're maybe an asteroid falls on your house and then what? You know, you're never one hundred percent safe life is just full of risking, you know, live it you're capable of doing this don't you believe in me? I like to turn this around on them and so making about themselves about maybe what? You don't believe I can do this no, no, no, no, no, of course I can't of course I can because I'm not going to want to be like, oh, no, no, no uh lots of people travel alone, including women this makes you happy no friend or family member is going to want to be upset, right? So I liketo know turn this around on them that this makes me happy, you know, you know if you think I can do it and you know this makes him happy why don't you want to be supportive aa lot of the time it's really about them and their fear of the unknown and they're worrying about you which is great you want your friends and family to worry about you but you know, I sort of say like this makes me happy I'm going to do it and that you seem to end the conversation right there uh they tend to say ok, I mean, they may remember they may passively child like a few jobs on that you could maybe take but turn the conversation around on them about like, don't you want me to be happy? Don't you want me to live my genes because their friends and their family and they're going to say yes and once they start saying yes, you're going to say, well, I guess you have a point okay have fine, I'll miss you send postcards and think uh not let them get you down three travel blog's I'm not only mine but candidates isn't all the other ones we've had, you know, get involved with travel for connectors traveled communities like couchsurfing and keep being inspired you know, as you guys were saying earlier in the chat rooms people just really excited tio to me, other travelers right to meet people off have a like interest, and you can draw a lot of strength through that because when you're in your silo, when you're just by yourself and you have this sort of, you know, tidal wave of negativity coming over to it can kind of keep you down, but, you know, you have sort of an oasis of, like, mine individual saying it's going to be okay, you're going to be fine, go have fun, be exciting, and I think, you know, this is really something that is great about two thousand fourteen because in two thousand four five six when I was planning my trip was in iran, maybe one or two hey forms, but it wasn't to the extent that you could find now and, you know, I mean that's just really great, especially when you come home for a trip in your kind of bomb and nobody wants to talk to you about your travels, you fund great support online, so support before and after the trip, you know, what is great is that when we're excited to travel, maybe we haven't had that first of our toe in the water yet, but candace, she won a contest. And that's how she got into travel absolutely mad himself is going off to china and then just took two days after this course finishes and a lot of people been asking about time this in the very worried they've heard it's unsafe etcetera he really isn't a mini off seeming to follow some sensible advice and keep yourself safe there will be there will be areas where things may be a little bit unrest right now but you know if you want to win a trip to thailand if you want to go there and experience experience it for yourself you can because we're offering that as a contest here as part of the program the girl for that is a country on the screen right now and you'll also be in our chat room so you go find it there it is case sensitive so make sure you type it incorrectly it's in partnership with cathay pacific on lonely planet and you will have a chance to win that round trip to get to bangkok where you're riding next yeah so briefly on thailand the political protests in thailand I've lived through coups and riots and then burning down the city uh all that stuff really happens in this sort of the government area tourist are never targeted it's always in bangkok go elsewhere avoid the government centres I have there was only one time it sort of exploded into I think but it was only in bangkok I have friends on the adams were like, oh this problems in thailand I wouldn't know a moment on the beach typing in on facebook so you know stay alert, stay safe you know, we talked about safety but also you know, don't assume because there's a problem one city that means everything that's like saying like, you know, there's a gang violence and detroit in d c and maybe I should stay away from the states I mean, you wouldn't say that and it would be like that's absurd keep aware but know that I said he is not representative of the country, so as he sort of wind down, we've sort of talked about you know, I've structured this course before you go in after you go on the road and here we are you've inspired to go you've got your finances in order you no longer so nervous, but you might feel overwhelmed as you start to research what to do and where to go. So I just want to end by saying just breathe it's easy to feel overwhelming overwhelmed by all this and all the things you need to think about but you know we're going to talk a lot in future segments about you know, finding cheap flights and planning and day to day activities but, you know, take everything one step at a time don't try over plan take your goal you know don't let others get you down and remember these five truth you're not the first person to travel abroad you've made it this far you just cable is everybody else you will make friends and worst case scenario you can always come back I I'm always encouraged to know that if an eighteen year old backpack around the you know from from nowhere you know can make their way around the world I could do it to you know I was always encouraged no that there is a sort of tourist trail thatyou consort of lean on in times of need you don't have to go up to this random jungle in this random country and you know try to be indiana jones like you can step into it you can you go to the cheesy tourist places intuitive get used to it you know that other people have done this there is a tourist trail that you can sort of lean on in times of need yeah this far that's much better than other people you will make friends I have met lots of friends around the world he will not end up alone for a year or two weeks or two months or however long and if you really hate it come back I met I met a girl once who was like I'm going home I miss my boyfriend family too much long term travel stuff for may I'd rather just you know, take short trips are you know whatever you can always come back and I think we forget that sometimes we think oh, I've committed I'm done and I'm on the road I have to do it but you can always come back so from some of our students have any of you had sort of doubts and think of this is this is what's been holding you back perhaps fear of different locations here, some of things that candidates talking about particularly the ladies are you feeling now a little bit more confident anyone who wants to go in madeleine will do you think my question actually isn't necessarily about unsupportive friends of family? My would be more of friends I keep on saying, oh, I'll go with you, I'll go with you and then you're planning if you're ready to go and then dallas and you're like, hey, what about my ticket? And they're like no, you can't drag them out the door so what do you d'oh go without them? I have my buddy joe who was going tol share with may never made it he was going to go to europe with me, he backed out and get them to go to believe I've never gotten on another trip again I've been trying to get my friend who is a poker player to come to amsterdam with me to meet my like poker buddies yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a dream destination he said where could you go he would meet these day after now all right let's go you tell me the day I will book a flight I'll work around your schedule yeah he's just got to go if I waited for my friends I still be in my office job you know, pushing papers and just being like why did I not do this sometimes you just have to go and you'll find and like minded people along the way and then give me your travel buddies and I think what I agree what they were saying it's not like I went traveling by myself because I thought it would be something you know amazing and then life feeling it was more like I couldn't find anybody that wanted to go to and so it's just like well ok, I'm going to do it myself I mean I would gladly trouble with any of my friends I like to child with people I mean, I've done the solo travel thing along enough I I would like to chat with your wife you know, people are like oh, you just don't like people it's like now I I love people if my friends and said yeah, I'll go backpack southeast asia with you I've been like great let's go it's just like push came to shove, and they weren't ready to commit. And I'm ready to go. So I think a lot of times is if you can't find anyone to go, go and find people along the way.