Skip to main content

Your Inner Critic

Lesson 14 from: Family Photography: Capturing Connection

Julia Kelleher

buy this class


Sale Ends Soon!

starting under


Unlock this classplus 2200+ more >

Lesson Info

14. Your Inner Critic


Class Trailer

Day 1




Psychology of Parenthood


The Power of a Story


Composition and Color


Psychology of New Parent and Connecting


Pre-Session Questionnaire


Posing Basics for Connection


Lesson Info

Your Inner Critic

George for those of you who haven't watched before is your inner critic okay he's the guy who sits on your shoulders and tells you you suck on a daily basis you're not enough you can't do this you stink you will never be creative. You should give up ok? I prefer now to give him a last name. It's george shame me more his mission is to beat you up okay? To shame you tow lower your self esteem to focus on the negative to distract you from the dreams from your dreams and give you imposter syndrome you are an impostor to make you feel like you shouldn't be doing what you're doing because you're not qualified you're an imposter how many of you feel like that? Sometimes there were times when I felt like it yesterday okay we all feel it every day and you know you could I can sit here and preach to you guys and say and approaches what you preach you it's hard, it's hard on a daily basis to not have george pickett you okay? But I want you to try to externalize him and because what happens is is ...

this the whole concept of shame? We tell ourselves were the mistake is your mom or dad or parenting to your friends? Do you look at someone to go out your mistake, bring your mistake I mean I think we would never say that to someone else because we wouldn't think it so why don't we do it to ourselves so I want you to try to learn to externalize george put him on a table and well you suck too because he does that's not nice. Okay, so here's another exercise using your tan graham which is in your freebies by the way for those of you online if you are sleepy you can get a tana graham there so we had our students cut up these seven pieces that's tan grams the chinese puzzle exercise okay, I want you to create george and the point is to use all seven pieces just lay them out and I want you to create george now you have to use all seven pieces and none of them could be overlapping so it makes you think and george could be anything it could be a shape he could be a being he could be an animal it could be just a mess. Who cares it that the whole point is that it's not supposed to be neat but I want you to create george and how you think he looks with your tan graham okay, but this is a really neat puzzle solving exercise that forces you to think outside the box a little bit and when you're creating something negative that you don't like, you tend not to judge it why would judge george george judge himself? You're making him so you know it doesn't matter it's seriously could be abstract it could be a true object it doesn't have to be something recognizable yeah, look at that. Isn't it funny how you all kind of are making these jagged, awkward shapes because that's what george is jagged and awkward and the tan graham helps you see that very cool I love seeing all these shapes that's fantastic so cool and all it has to mean something is to you I'm not called that's cool I like it very neat awesome sauce years are amazing so cool very neat but go do this at home it helps you externalized george a little bit doesn't it? And you're like, oh, it doesn't really look like much but I can see she doesn't look like much better stop it why does george want to beat you up so badly? Well, let's talk about that little diagram I showed you yesterday, okay? When we are vulnerable to something like putting our art out there, george is the master of shame he's the one who perpetuates that cycle fear, judgment and secrecy keep shame going you hide george, you don't want to talk about him because you're afraid people will judge you and he loves that he just thrives on fear, secrecy and judgment that's his modus operandi eye and he does it through procrastination is one of the ways he makes you wait to do things so you won't do them okay, you're just hurting yourself when you do that when you let him take control of you, okay? He is the one who perpetuates the shame and I'm externalizing him on purpose because he is not you, george is not who you are. You are not a mistake as much as he'd like to think that it's this voice in your head that is brought on by years and years of conditioning and social external pressure, years and years of external expectation from society, from your parents from mainly from society and media I mean just the whole world we live in this pressure to be something we should be that's george it's not you does that resonate? Are you guys understanding what I mean? If you could think of george and if you can think of shame in a different way but by taking it out of the picture and externalizing it all of a sudden it becomes more manageable chunk to deal with it's not you any more there's, not there's. No lost hope makes sense george does it for survival, okay, back in the instinctual days we watched out for negative things to survive, right if you're in the cave with your family you're going to be on heightened awareness for anything that might threaten your survival but I'm sorry, but our emotional state needs to be protected and george is protecting that our emotional state and here's another fact about george okay, you are the only one who can save him who can slay him ok? You and your empathy for yourself understanding treating yourself like a friend looking at the angel on the other side your shoulder who tells you here you did pretty good it's okay, but that voice is not as loud as george's so it's really hard sometimes to shut him up because he's so freaking annoying okay, he's got like those waves do all day long on oh my gosh shot up okay, you know it when it's happening don't you learn to be self aware of that? George I kind of this's from steven press filled in the book the art of war I inserted george to help you see it from a different light george have snow strength of his own you give that to him ok? Every ounce of his energy comes from you we feed him power by our fear of him. If you master that fear you will conquer him embrace the fear embraced the vulnerability embrace the risk and you will make him take a hike it's gonna happen automatically but hope d'oh I do it if I'm the one feeding him how do I stop more on this tomorrow? We can't get too deep in one conversation, right? But really procrastination is george's motive his that's his m o okay you feel it you come to the studio you know you should be working on a big project today teo facebook if you find yourself like an hour on facebook when you should be doing your work there's a reason for it usually it's george who's like making you do things you shouldn't be doing at the time to distract you okay, so start now is really the best advice I can give you even if you don't feel good about it you know how sometimes even daunting project you just put one foot in and start one little thing at the time all of a sudden the day goes by I feel like I'm done yeah like why did that wasn't his biggest I thought really chew it off in chunks and do one step at a time and whatever you can do weird dream you can excuse me whatever you can do or dream you can do just beginning boldness has genius magic and power in it so just begin it now it does have a boldness in a power in it and it shuts george up incredibly it's amazing what it will do you may have to constantly go back and forth especially the beginning when george's really loud you might have to constantly shut him up for a while but trust me be persistent just keeps shutting him up and it will go away slowly time sometimes need to be your friend okay, so be patient and give it some time and creativity really it's just an ever evolving process it's a journey it is not a result okay really get that in your brain children create just to create they don't care what it looks like in the end granite when they come home from school I really need you my son doesn't look like I don't care what it looks like it's also the fact that he made that you know and kids make something it's just as a mother it's like the sweetest thing ever but he didn't care what the result is all he is and you know how he learns about george by me saying it's beautiful yeah, because over the years I've of course I'm going to say it's beautiful, I can't help it, but what I mean is his journey of creativity is beautiful, not the result I mean, really, when I look at those old, I'm like uh much there, but to me what's beautiful is that he wanted to create something for me and that he took the time and the effort and had fun with it and created in the journey. But because I call it beautiful and over the years, it's gonna build up and he's gonna go. Wow, it's got to be pretty that's. How we're conditioned and that's how george comes in our lives by external things, so keep him external. Don't let him come inside.

Class Materials

bonus material with purchase

BD Design Cards
Butterfly ClamShell Lighting Set Up
Newborn Posing Design
Newborn Prepartion Sheet
Standard Lighting Set Up
Studio Gift Card
Gear Guide
Downloads with RSVP

Ratings and Reviews

Natalia Malinko

This is the second course with Julia I have seen. And it's amazing and very inspiring in so many ways! I appreciate so much the honesty of Julia, her spirit for doing things she loves. Like a photographer and artist myself, I feel identified with her perception of world and the passion for artistic and family photography. This course is about never give up, it's about hard work, and also it's about cultivating creativity and honesty. I highly recommended this course to every photographer who want to grow and understand himself and the business of professional high-quality photography. Thanks, Julia and Creative Live, for this one!

a Creativelive Student

So glad I bought this class - well and truly worth the investment. This course has helped me realise why it is so important to make an emotional connection and how to use it to my advantage {while giving my clients the very best too}. I cannot wait to try some new printing/mounting glad Julia was kind enough to share this! I got a lot out of this course and would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to take their newborn photography business to the next level.

Jenny White

This class was amazing!!! Julia does a great job of showing her process, how she captures beautiful images from start to finish. It was worth every dollar I spent!!

Student Work