Lessons

Lesson Info

Your Block: Valuing and Receiving

Do you have a problem with your self value? Do you have a problem with your product value? Do you have a problem with your studio value? Like maybe your studio's not fancy enough. Do you have a problem with the value of your work's not good enough? Do you have a problem because somebody tells you that your work's not good enough? Because you spend too much time, competition, it's hard to pitch because you think other people are better than you, they have a better studio than you, they have a better this than you, they have a better camera than you. They have a better marketing system than you. They're more confident than you. You see the whole pitch is around value to me. And then the receiving money. We are over givers by nature. We over give, we over give and it's very hard to receive money. How in balance is your receiving? Do you say thank you when people give you a compliment? Do you say thank you when people give you a gift? Do you receive and feel good about it? Do you over give...

and resent that because if you're over giving and resenting it, then clearly you're not a good receiver. Because you're giving for the wrong reasons. Where is your lack of value. You can find it. It'll be right there. It'll be in front of you. You just need to find what it is. Does anybody here have a lack of value they wanna talk about? Yes. So, I love you (laughs). So much. I love you too Jeffrey. So you were just, in my Statue of Liberty. One of the things, it's so hard to be, like vulnerability is a huge block for me just with carrying toxins of just, vulnerability is very difficult. But with what you're talking, so that's one. So I'm gonna get through that. Is receiving. I have experienced, in my life time gifts as weapons. And so it's very, like I hate surprise parties. When people give me gifts I don't, I just I don't wanna be gifted because a gift is an obligation and a weapon. It's a, so that is, that's the big, I've drilled down through so many blocks but that's the one where, and I've turned away money over the last 30 days. I'm just like, no it's good. I'm goin' to LA. Keep 'em I'm good. I don't know why. So, but that's really the next birthing. So, I'm... Okay. Number one, vulnerability, hardest thing to do, and yet you are a very gentle man 'cause it's very obvious in your nature. Right from the first time I ever spoke to you. So, you don't seem blocked up to me. And a lot of men have difficulty with that vulnerability but so do a lot of women. Because we're very emotionally dishonest. Are you okay? Yeah I'm fine. And we're not okay. We're really pissed off. And we don't wanna acknowledge our own anger so we lie. We lie all the time. Okay? So being vulnerable is about being brave enough to say wow I'm really uncomfortable with this. One of the things about giving and receiving that I always teach people, is when you receive something is to receive it, you can be humble but you can also be honest. You can also receive and say, thank you this is incredibly generous that you're doing this for me and it makes me feel really uncomfortable but I'm gonna take it and I can't tell you how thankful I am. Like you can be really grateful right? When somebody gives you something. But when you're turning away money, (audience laughs) okay? No. When you're turning away money, I have seen myself do it almost like I'm a third person. I've seen myself go no, it's alright don't worry about it. I'm the person that if you lend me $ I'm like I owe you $100 and they go don't worry about it. Like don't be stupid. I would put in somebody's clothes. Like I would tackle somebody and go you're taking it you're taking the money! So when people say to me I owe you $100, I go don't worry about it and they go oh, thanks. I'm like, (audience laughs) because I'm being polite. You know? I've done that in my life so many times. And all I do now Jeffrey is this. In my mind hold your hands up like this. And say the left is for leaving the right is for receiving. I give, I take an equal amount. This must be in balance. If I hold that in my head, when I can't get that hand up I'm just like, take it, take it, take it, take it, take it. I say thank you. And in my mind I go gratitude, I'm thankful, I gave as much as I'm getting. I feel there's a perfect balance. Like I hear myself say it. Even now I hear myself say it. But now I do it. I'm like thank you and I'm not afraid of it. Okay? I openly say thank you but I my mind that's going through my head. You are born with a perfect balance of leaving and receiving. If this hand is constantly leaving and this hand is not receiving. There's not gonna be anything to leave. You can't give give give and not take back. You also cannot take take take and not give. Now some people have their balance right out and you have to work out what yours is and if it's like that, left for leaving. Slide money across. Right for receiving, okay? Somebody's giving it to you. You're not picking it up. Somebody's giving it to you and you're taking it. Now, I thought a lot about this because I was like receiving is still difficult for me. And then somebody told me about this book called Love Language, and I've not read it but just the explanation was enough to make me light bulb. My love language is time spent. Yeah. Yep, and words of affirmation. So receiving gifts and giving gifts is not in my love language. So I don't even like it as a love language. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Receiving gifts is very difficult for me. And it occurred to me that that's not my love language but that's the person giving the gifts love language. So denying the receiving of a gift is denying the love that they're giving you right? So, mine is time spent. So Nicki and I were just talking about this and I said to Nicki what's your love language? And where in your photo shoot process, in your selling process, in your pitching and your marketing and your delivering of product does your love language come up? Because if you're in to giving gifts then it would stand to reason that you're handing over the product and getting paid for it, is your love language. It's your favorite part. Mine is the time I spend when I'm shooting with them, and then the time I spend when I'm selling to them. That's what I love the most. Spending time with people, and so that process for me is really important. So, that was really interesting for me. My love language. So when you're turning away money, let's say your love language was receiving or time spent, imagine that you take a little bit more time in your viewing session to spend time with people because then you'll really feel the value of your love language through your job. I just kinda felt like it tied into my, I relate everything to work. (laughs) I relate everything to making money. Because I've seen it a million times. I changed my thoughts and I changed my business. I changed how I saw the world. I changed my business. I changes how I receive money and I changed my business. I went from struggle struggle struggle to having savings. I never would've believed you could learn that. And you can. And I went from not valuing my work to earning thousands of dollars selling it and the irony was I didn't get that much better as a photographer. So, it was more about my value then what I was selling. And it doesn't matter how fancy your studio is. I make more money in my garage in Kurakkan the first year than I made in any time in my career. And most of my clients told me not to leave. So, you're going to receive. Receiving is no longer a weapon for you. It may have been in the past. As you receive you're going to imagine that both your hands are in perfect balance. You're going to receive the money that you, and receiving it is the same as people excepting a job on the phone. You're receiving the work. You're receiving the compliment. You're receiving the money. Their flow of exchange, the energy. You're gonna receive it and then in your mind you're gonna say I'm worth this. I'm giving as much as I'm getting. I'm thankful. I'm grateful. Whatever you need to say. Acknowledge it and just say it in your head and be completely at peace with it. If you feel out of balance you need to go and address it straight away. Right? I'm telling you right now, that will just shift your income. So, you're either not valuing something or you're not receiving money. Interestingly enough from my garage in Kurakkan, I feel like it had nothing to do with the garage, and everything to do with the service. Back then, I had just this, passion for shooting. Like I think about the energy that I was putting into my shoots. If I could find that again, if I could get that back, and I am so close right now 'cause I've had a time of restoration. I'm gonna talk about that. I feel like there was nobody in the world other than the woman that was standing in front of me and that I wanted nothing more than just to take the best photographs that I'd ever seen of her. And every now and then my cat would walk in (laughs), or leaves would blow in the garage door or, something would happen and it would remind me that I'm in this little studio in this crappy little garage, but it didn't matter because the energy that that person was getting from me was priceless. They don't care about how fancy your studio is. And if you're the sort of person that judges people by what their house looks like, I've been into the poorest houses I've ever seen and they're clean. And cleanliness and order, they got nothing. They'll make you a coffee and sit with you for an hour, and you can have the richest conversation with the poorest people in the world, and it doesn't matter that they don't have nice things. You know? I used to do karate with this guy that was, I didn't realize until I went to their home one day that they lived in a state house. They had nothing. Nothing. It was the poorest house I'd ever been into. And he had three teenage children and they had order and he had rules in the kitchen. The kids went to the kitchen and they washed their dishes after they ate and dried the bench and cleaned the bench and I remembered spending a couple of hours in his house thinking I've got a cup of tea and the best experience of my life watching these kids. 'Cause some people just have nothing. And they have everything. Yeah. And I know this 'cause I grew up, we had nothing. But laugh, oh (laughs) my family can laugh. You will not sit at a table at Bryce's and not nearly pee your pants of laughter and cry with laughter and sing and play the guitar, and the drums and just I grew up like that. But energy that you have with people, it's more than a pretty studio. Come on. Stop trying to buy pretty things. Give. Receive. Give. Receive. Give. Receive. It's like an energy right? Give and then that builds and that builds and you're giving more and you're receiving more. When I think of that I just remember where I come from. What is your hurtle? Your studio's not good enough, your work is not good enough. There's poverty everywhere. There is poverty everywhere. There is poverty everywhere. There is wealth everywhere. You are neither. Wallis Wattles said do not make a study of poverty. You will see everybody as becoming. The wealthier you become the more you can free the world of poverty. Whether that's an energy or you're giving money back to the community, please learn the value of who you are and please learn the value of what you can create but please acknowledge one thing. Two things stop people from earning money. Guilt and shame. If you acknowledge that, is it okay to be the wealthiest person in my family? Is it okay to be wealthy at all? Are wealthy people bad? Are wealthy people, how do I feel about wealthy people? Are they misusing their wealth? Why would I feel guilty about having a new couch? Why would I feel guilty about driving an $80,000 car? Why is that important to me? Is it okay for me to have wealth? Is it okay for me to have unlimited income? How do you feel about it when I ask you that? Do you feel uncomfortable? I feel uncomfortable. Rich people are pricks. That's how I grew up. Rich people are bad. I thought about that. Money is dirty. Money is bad. Somebody told me the other day, more money? Not more money more problems. More money just makes you more of what you already are. Okay? So if you're generous you're just bigger generous. If you're an ass you're just a wealthy ass. So it's just gonna make you more of what you are. You can only sell what you would pay. We've already covered this. I challenge you to go and pay for a photo shoot in the next couple of months. Pay for it. Enjoy it, value it. Market yourself through the photo shoot. Make sure the photographer knows you're a photographer. Make sure they're comfortable with the fact that you were using their images. Do a trade for images if you want another photographer, but please please please please, put yourself in the position of your client. Put yourself there so that you can feel the value. We have to be careful here. I've ask photographers to go and do shoots and they've not been happy with the shoot that they got. Now you know what your clients may feel. (audience laughs) They don't like yours. Consider that. Choose your photographer wisely. When you interview your photographer, listen to how they pitch you. Are they pitching service? Are they nervous? Oh, you're a photographer. Oh I don't normally photographer photographers. Oh. Are they telling you what they're gonna get or are they selling themselves? Are they selling you on service and what's the pitch? Listen to the pitch. What are you attracted to in the pitch? What are you repelled by? What do you like about their pitch? What do you hate about their pitch? What works for you? What doesn't? What do you believe about their pitch? And picture each other. Secondly, we're gonna talk about this, but practice your pitch. Practice it with your best friend. Practice it with you assistant. Practice it with your next five clients. Change it up a little bit. Be careful writing scripts. They sound like scripts. I could write a whole lot of scripts about how I say it and it's my voice. So what I'm trying to do is to teach you how to find your true voice. 'Cause that's more important than reading a script. Okay? Your true voice. This thing that connects your heart to what you do. The vulnerability, the receiving. If you connect it to that, the next time you pitch you're gonna have that in the back of your mind. It's gonna hold the energy of what you're talking about because the truth is is you're going to work through it 'cause you've named it. Right? Your money block. You've named it. You can consciously start working on receiving more money. Right? Consciously know it's there. Your confidence to walk up. Know you're gonna be so confident. You're just gonna walk up and you're gonna say, I have to photograph you. Check out my website. You're gonna give 'em that card and you're gonna do it. And sleazy is not a word you're even gonna think about now. You're gonna start paying compliments to random people, and you're gonna feel really comfortable doing it because you're gonna follow it straight up with when was the last time you were photographed? I must photograph you. And if they say last month actually. I just booked a shoot with so and so. You can go fabulous. I hope you love the images. They're so important. Because it's more important that the world of women celebrate themselves through their portraits then you getting paid for a shoot. Like I wouldn't be teaching other photographers if I had a problem with sharing my gifts. I believe that there's three billion women on this planet that need to be made to feel beautiful. Like I have a very strong, I can't shoot that many. I mean I just don't have the capacity. Like I would love for everybody to strive forward and bring contemporary glamour portraiture to the world. I mean, I want that. Yeah. Maybe not three billion but you know. (Sue laughs) Want to talk about blocks? Or you wanna keep movin' on? Yes. Yep, no I want blocks. Jen Lasquez, block. What do you say when the first question people ask when you say you're a photographer is how much do you charge? You haven't had an opportunity to speak with them, warm them up, show them pictures et cetera. What is it that you say? That's a block right? So-- Yes. Absolutely. Interesting because this never happens to me. Nobody ever says how much. Although if they ring you they say hi how much? They'll ask you how much before a wedding photographer before they ask if you're available on their wedding day. Yeah. Okay. So be prepared for the question. Okay? There's a couple of ways around it. We'll go with the funny one first. Depends how confident I am. I'll take your first born child. (audience laughs) If somebody confronts me I tend to react like, I tend to be stupid. I'll take your first born child. I work for shoes. Red bottom shoes. (audience laughs) And then I'm kina like $3,000 but I'm really good. I turn 'em into a joke straight away. I also am not afraid, so I'm gonna go back to not now 'cause not now is to too difficult for people to understand. I'm gonna go back to then. Ask me 2004 Sue, I'm a photographer. How much do you charge? (stammering) Well I sell, so I sell, you pay for, you can pay for the sitting or I'll give you a free voucher. And you don't have to pay for that. To come and do the sitting and then when you get the images you have a look at the images and then you can buy whatever you, if you like them you buy them and my images start at $180. Okay, okay, alright. Yeah. So, Yeah. Basically, (woman laughs) So true. this is really uncomfortable. That's how I used to do it (laughs). That's right when you first started though. Yes. Not when you were in the garage and you had all these clients. Nope. Still then? That's then. Okay. That's right then. Okay. It didn't change for about three months. I started doing low sales. I realized I wasn't gonna be able to sustain that sort of work level on $400 average. Somebody told me to shut up, get out of the way, stop talking when I was doing my sales which is just like mind blowing. I can't believe that that is a secret to all sales people or that nobody told me but when they did, I just stopped talking 'cause I realized that I was just talking myself out of work. I was talking money back into their pocket. Just stop talking for God's sakes stop. (audience laughs) And then I would just shut up and then I just I almost become so silent that it was almost getting to the awkward stage and then they would buy them and I was like, I think I made 9,000 and, nine and a half thousand dollars one night. Three sales. Three, three, three and a half. And I remember them walking out and just being like huh it really works I just stopped talking. And I thought mm. Who knew? (audience laughs) But the thing is is, you gotta practice it okay? So let's practice the pitch to sale. Alright? Because I'm still getting stuck on the about you but the about you's gonna keep coming up. The pitch to sales comes down to this. My images start at $295 and go up from there. Okay? So I do not say what my average sale is. Yet. And that's my starting point. It's the lowest number I had in my studio. It was $180. I took the five by seven away. It's 295 for an eight by 12. A mounted eight by 12 on the wall is $295 and it goes up from there. I say it quickly. I say it assertively. I say to confidently. I am educating you without making it awkward, okay? So ask me again. This, and now I'm 2004 Sue, 2005 Sue. I'm gettin' better in my business. I'm makin' some cash. So what do you do? I'm a photographer. Oh and how much do you charge? Well I charge $295 and they go up from there. So one beautiful portrait on the wall is $295 mounted and if you would like more that's entirely up to you. I definitely want more. You do, wait 'til you see my business card. What about digitals? Everything you purchase I'll give you on disc. Quick question. Do you make a quick distinction of that that you present the lowest price which is, well one print right? Yes. Instead of your lowest package? I didn't say that. I said my images start at 295. Right. Which is very important. Good. Because it actually gives sort of a good low number as perceived low number if you will but, Yes. at the same time gets 'em-- A fake number. Yeah it's a, yeah right. Good. Enough said. Okay. So, what happens if my folio starts at $900? So then my packages start at $900. Still my lowest dollar amount. Still confident. Still enough to make them like, okay. I believe that when everybody books with you they think you're gonna be their lowest dollar amount. I believe that they think they're gonna get their $295 print and be happy with that. Low and behold, the experience is magnificent, and you're right. Typical I want 10 of them. Oh that's $2,950 you know what I mean? It's not trapping it's safe. So, the pitch is really important. I want you to right now say it out loud. What's your lowest package that you are prepared to tell people? What's the starting price? Say it. You've got a microphone. You've got a microphone. How much do you charge? 295 with, oh I'm doing that, the whole thing? Okay no. I want you to tell me how much you charge. $2.95? Oh. (Nicki laughs) Ah. $295. How much do you charge Nicki? Well, part of me wants to just start with the package 'cause I'm not trying Well then let's say to pull one over on 'em. my package start at? My packages start at 1200 Oh. up to $2400. You don't need to say up to. My packages-- Start at, oh right. Right right right. What if I want Yeah. to spend $12,000? My packages start at $1200 dollars. Good girl. I like to say my lowest one first because then I feel like when they come into the reveal wall then that's when, you know? 'Cause I don't want to scare them off with like the-- No okay. So how 'bout this? My images start at 295 on the wall and my albums start at 1200. The reason I would want to start with my collection is I don't want to pull the wool over anyone's eyes and pretend oh you're gonna get all these photos for just-- No, no, no, no. You know what I mean? You're not pulling the wool over any, you are not being deceitful right now. My images start at $295, my folio packages start at 1200. Am I being dishonest? No. Say it. Say what you are charging. Tell me. My images start at? My images start at $295 and my folio collections start at 1200, dollars. Okay. This time look me in the eye when you say it. Don't look down 'cause you looked down like it wasn't worth it. I know. Well I'm trying to get it, mentally get it, better. My images start at $295, my folio collections start at 1200. Okay. My wall portraits start at 295. My wall portraits start at 290-- Give them more value. Right. My wall portraits start at 295-- It's almost like I want to say it like I'm telling time. Can you tell me something? What's the time? What's a collection? It is-- Yeah. (Nicki laughs) (audience laughs) It's a pretty word that somebody's made up in our industry and said call it a collection. They're gonna really like it if you call it a collection. (Nicki laughs) Okay and I'm gonna debunk that. I'm really sorry if you're the one who, whoever it is. Some Creative Live instructor's gonna ring me and go you? Call it a collection? I'd called it a collection. It's not a collection. It's folio, it's an album box. Tell me what it is. I don't know what a collection is. I want you to tell me in the most sincere voice what you cost. I want you to believe it. This pitch is going to change the way you make money. I don't mind looking you in the eye. I'm gonna look you in the eye and say my wall portraits start at $295 and my folios start at 1200. Whatever you spend is entirely up to you. Okay? My wall portraits start at $75. My collections start at 600. My collections sounds like debt collection. My albums start at 600. But what you choose is entirely up to you. Okay. Let's say you're not selling a la cart. You're simply selling one package. I have one package. It's $3,000. Okay? So, I'm gonna follow that up with, instead of my images start at $200, my collection, no. I'm gonna go with this. My sitting fee is $3,000. It includes a full day shooting with me, a makeup artist, styling five outfits, a folio box with 20 images in it, and a 16 24 wall portrait of your choice. I also give you a cd of everything you choose. Now, you gotta lock this down. Because the first pitch is the hi conversation pitch. I'm a photographer. The second pitch is this is what I do. And this is why it's so amazing conversation. The third pitch is how much do you cost? And you must be ready to practice that. So I want you to repeat it over and over again until it flows off your tongue so quickly, that if somebody says to you how much do you cost? Yeah my wall art portraits start at $295. My folio boxes start at $1200. Whatever you spend is entirely up to you. Woo hoo. I can say it without thinking about it. I say it confidently. I believe my packages is worth it. Do you know what I used to say to people after I got really confident in it? My wall portraits start at $295. My folios start at 1200. My average is 2,400. I'm not gonna lie, everybody buys that package. Do you know why? It's the best package value for the money. You get more images. You get a cd of everything. You get a portrait on the wall. That was my pitch and people would go. This is coming from a girl who when people used to ask her how much the images were I'd go, 180, 275, 420, 680. And then people would go $6.80? Wow for a big portrait like that? And I wouldn't look at them when I'd say it. I would look down at the sizes (laughs). I was so embarrassed to say what I was worth. I just couldn't look people in the eye. There's two things you must learn when you pay someone a compliment look them in the eye. When you thank someone look them in the eye. When you tell somebody how much you're worth look them in the eye. And if you, I want you to practice that. Please practice that over and over again. I want you to look at somebody and say my images start at $295, my folio packages start at 1200. What you buy is entirely up to you. And then we build value. How do we do that? Who did you wanna be photographed with? How did you want to be photographed? Have you seen my website? What images did you like? The shoot is three hours and it comes with fully styling and a hair and makeup artist so whoever you book with make sure you go out that night. What are you gonna bring to your shoot? Do you like those big gowns that I make? 'Cause I can make you one. Do you wanna be photographed on location? 'Cause I've been doing a lot of studio work lately and I'm happy to on location if you want to be in a field or a paddock somewhere. Like let's go and do that. Or a city shoot. What interests you about being photographed? What sort of finished product do you like? Do you want something on the wall or would you prefer an album? Or a folio box? I like the folio boxes because you can frame them. You can put them on the wall. You know what I mean? Are you having these conversations as easily as I just did then? No. (audience laughs) Why? (audience laughs) That's why we're here. (laughing) That's why I'm here. But think about it. Everything that we've talked about has been the flow of the pitch. The flow of the value. Let's have these conversations. Let's give people queues and words. Biggest mistake a photographer can make, talking about themselves. I don't believe you come to me to talk about me. I'll talk about myself until the cows come home. Are you serious? Course I will. There's no better subject in the world. I know it really well. (audience laughs) I'm really interesting. I like talking about myself. Everybody likes talking about themselves. That's why people enjoy talking about themselves so much. So, I kinda think to myself imagine that you, okay let's do a little exercise. Let's say Nicki is sitting here and I start a conversation with her. Come around here Nicki. We're at a party. Let's be at a party and it's an awkward party because you don't know anybody and I don't know anybody so we're standing, standing like I wish I could talk to somebody. I feel really awkward. Wow I love your earrings. Thank you. Actually I like your whole outfit. Oh thank you. You look amazing. Thank you. I really appreciate that. What do you do? Why are you here? I'm a photographer. Oh cool. What do you do? I specialize in photographing women. Come in get a makeover. We do photo shoot. You're pitching to me. Stop. Oh. We're doing a conversation? Okay? Yep just doing a conversation. I'm a photographer what about you? Oh, actually I'm a makeup artist. Sweet. What kinda work do you do? Yeah. Well I just do weddings and stuff and I just work part time right now. I'm working at a makeup counter but I don't really like it. Oh, what do you wanna do? I would just wanna do hair and makeup all the time. But like where would you wanna do it? Well, okay stop. Okay. At this point of our conversation, okay? You've got to stay authentic to the conversation. Let' stay completely authentic to the conversation but this time I'm gonna be more awkward in the sense that I'm gonna be like, so what do you do? I'm a photographer. What sort of photographer? Glamour. I specialize in photographing women. Ah. Yeah. How 'bout you? So if she thinks I'm not interested right now, she's gonna tell herself a story. Okay? And her story is not based on what I'm really thinking. It's based on what she's thinking I'm thinking. Alright? So if you've got stuff that's in the way of us, the story that she's now telling herself is that I'm not the sort of person that would spend $2,000. I'm not interested. I don't like it. I don't think she's good enough. Whatever it is, instantly that story is going back to Nicki. Nicki's transmitting her own story back to herself. And her self confidence is draining fast. Okay? So I'll make a stupid comment. Oh so like those, you don't do those hideous like do your makeup and get over Photoshopped kinda things do you? Only with a feather boa (laughs). You have to have either a jean jacket or a feather boa when you go in. Somebody, no. Somebody said, she said that to me. They're like that kind of perfection makes me vomit. Oh. I'm like oh my gosh I could photograph you without making any of that perfect. (Nicki laughs) (audience laughs) Okay. So-- That's good. (audience laughs) I feel like the biggest problem with the pitch right now is the story that Nicki's gonna tell herself around what I'm doing. Okay? So if I seem disinterested, at any time she can let go of the pitch. I'm saying make the pitch a conversation. Some people aren't interested in talking about tennis, you bring up tennis. You happen to be an expert in tennis. I don't give a shit about tennis. I don't wanna talk about tennis. Tennis is boring. I make a stupid comment about tennis. Laugh about it. Drop the pitch. You don't need to do it. However, if you want to pitch to somebody, make it interesting conversation. If you feel that I am judging what you believe in any way shape or form, this is the story you're telling yourself around the pitch that your giving. Okay? So right now in human interaction the story that both of us are telling, is called mind reading. What she's thinking about me is not my business. Don't make it up. Don't make up what you think she's thinking. 'Cause you do not know. Unless you can hear her thoughts you do not know what that woman is thinking about you so don't even imagine you know. That's a lie. Sue one of the most incredible things that someone has told me is what other people are thinking is none of your business which this is. None of your business. It really sticks with me. None of your business. So when a woman, get this you're gonna love this. And as marketers and pitchers, thanks Nicki, and photographers, a woman walks into a room, and she looks at everybody looking at her. She's not looking at you. She's looking at how you're looking at her. I don't know but we are made to be that way. And let's say I walk into the room, and I feel pretty hot and everybody looks at me and somebody looks me up and down or a guy looks at me and connects with me and I'm like I look good. And then I walk into a room and I get nothing and I'm like oh, right? Those are stories. Exactly the same way you're doing business. Right? You can not read somebody's mind so you don't know what they're thinking about money. You cannot read somebody's thoughts so you don't know what they're thinking about you. You don't know. It's what's going on inside you that permeates and the story that you're telling and that is one of the most vital things you need to learn today.